Disappointement

It’s dinner time and all I can hear is the sound of eight forks and three spoons (we don’t have enough forks) on 11 plates.  It’s another quiet meal because we’re all so hungry after a hard days’ work.  “Okay,” our project leader says, “my apple cannot wait- it’s a big one.”

Every day, each of us share an ‘apple’ - the good thing that happened that day and an ‘onion’ which is something bad that happened that day.

I can’t remember his exact words, but he told us that we would be going to the elders camp for 9 days in two weeks and that day that he visited the Elders camp, he was right into the caribou face- eating it that is, of course. 

 “Ohh my,” he often says.  We might tease him a little for that because I don’t think our Saskatchewan-born adventurer really notices.

Friday, he shared a big onion: Elders camp is cancelled.  Meetings of some sort?  We would still visit the Elders camp Saturday for snowshoeing, but the cultural experience we were looking forward to would not be happening.  Deçu was the French word of the day.

Saturday was a long day for me.   Before going to the camp, we had a house meeting to figure out if we wanted to walk there despite the wind and weather conditions.  We all agreed to brave the cold and found that we were the only brave ones that day! The camp appeared to be mostly deserted until we came across Margaret, a woman I know from school.  We hung out in a tee pee with her for a while, and then walked home.  

Later, I wrote in my journal and realized that what I was seeing at school was that some children, feeling misunderstood, were metaphorically locked in cages, and they've been acting up, waiting for someone to tear down the barrier of misunderstanding and unlock their cages.  Many are hungry for an education that doesn't just teach them, but understands them, and caters to the way they learn best.  On the plus side, the pilot project of half Cree half English/French is believed to have done wonders for them.

There is a child whom I have reason to believe is dyslexic, for example.  After doing a little research, I found that 19% of dyslexics have suicidal thoughts.  I can’t change everything, but if I can give light to one child by assuring that more are aware of the problem, my duty here is done.  That thought alone is what may very well one day bring me back to the Chisasibi I’ve grown to love.

Luckily, Chris managed to find something other than the Elder’s camp for us to get a cultural experience. Instead, we’re off to a man named Sylvain’s camp for five days.  We’re not all too sure what we’ll be doing- “outdoor things,” Chris said, but it’s something different.  The camp is about an hour and a half away from here, there is no running water or electricity and Chris said he saw some Caribou when he was out there. And maybe we'll even see some wolves! We’ll have to keep a fire going all night long and it looks like it’ll be a well-deserved break and a really unique experience for us.

There was a moment where Chisasibi lost its charm for me, but it only made me feel even stronger that there really is a place here for me. I can really make a difference!  Disappointment was only temporary, since here, I feel there is nowhere to look but up.