Reconnecting with a mother's womb

Since I failed to write while I was actually in Hawaii, (it was not so easy for me to write a lot on my ipod.) I'm going to have to write blurbs about my journey that are out of order and hopefully interesting to puzzle together as it is read.

Most days when I go on Facebook and I can't think of anything to write on my status, what comes to mind first is "I love."  That's it.  I only actually did that once.  But if nothing at all, that's what I think.  I think that's a good sign.  On days that I feel blue, I think of these moments and I know I'm doing alright simply because I love... so many things, so many beings, so much life so much.

I have been posting thoughts on Facebook and I'm quite happy with what I've written.
This is a recent post... (edited)

Ease... When I seek to find ease in a moment, I think of swimming with the dolphins.
It was a childhood dream that came to me in real life.
I can picture it now- I'm there... In anticipation, I can't contain myself. My breathing changes, my arms, and thus my heart opens... The moment then comes where I come face to face with the creatures I've admired from thousands of miles away and everything just stops. I scream a bit, let some water into my mask. Whoops! I put my head under and suddenly, I'm not in awe, I'm not jumping for joy. I'm just... calm. I experience peace that feels deeper than the bottom of the ocean that I can see.
I watch, as if I've been here so many times before.  They float so effortlessly through the water, with half their brains shut off.  This bay is their sleeping place.
I, too, float effortlessly just above them. For once, I am on this planet with no resistance. No gravity to pull me down, no muscular output, just...rest. All I need to do in this moment is breathe and let my body float. It feels so natural, so simple.
No sound other than the whale song, a dolphin click, my breath, the oceans' breath. Just life.
My thoughts? Mmmm...
Only weeks later I hold a baby in my arms. It looks so blank- it can barely even see me- heck, even if it could, it wouldn't know what I am. It's been floating for the past 9 months and suddenly it must face the next 100 years or so of it's life resisting gravity. But it trusts. Somehow this baby knows it will be alright.
And so, I, too, must know that I will be alright, whether my mother- or the ocean- is holding me or not. If I want to sustain happiness, I must find this mother's womb within. This baby knows it will be alright, and the dolphins know they are safe, just floating on through the water without thought. I am at peace with my body, and calm in my surroundings. I don't always need to think.
Thank you Maui for bringing me back to my mother's womb, thank you baby, for reminding me of perspective and to the dolphins for helping me find ease.  Thank you to myself for seeking opportunity and finding the perspective I need.
Today, I am in awe of life as I celebrate with new family.
I miss a family I once knew very much, but I know that I am loved nonetheless.
And I let the tears that need to flow move through me while I think of this new found ease.  A mother's womb that I carry in my own consciousness.