Please Just Smile for me

A few things to write about today.  More reflections than on actual events today.

I'm starting to see why people love music so much.
At the MPRC, for some, music is all they really have.  Carol, the beautiful Carol, for example, listens to music all the time.  And Carol does not say "I like this."  No, when she likes it, she has a huge smile on her face and she rocks back and fourth in her chair.  Nothing else makes her that happy.  Unless, of course, I push her around the whole place, circling around someone and purposely bumping into things. I can't do that all day though...
So instead, I play.

I haven't gotten her dancing with my music yet, but I just might when I can play and sing a good, upbeat song like, say... Willing Would I Be by Nabi Loney.  One of my personal favourites- it always brings me back home.  It's not the type of song one might typically start with (I'm going to try some Bob Dylan)  but it makes me happy.

That is, after all, what I find most satisfying.

When Brad, David, Chris and Mike bring out the guitar, I can the whole mood of the room shift.
Music gives our beings a whole new dimension.
And I want a part in that.  So I'm learning.  And I've never felt so motivated because I can see what a difference music makes in Carol's life, and in the lives of so many.

So I asked Nabi if she could send me the chords for the song Willing Would I Be.  And she made me a personal instructional video.  HOW COOL IS THAT? Why does anyone ever listen to mainstream music, I ask myself.
She's one of those people that just light up a room.  I don't know her well, I only know her from when I've seen her perform and at school (probably in gr. 9 or 10).  I remember when she made a running club at school and I saw her running up and down the hallways.  She was never afraid to be different- that's what made her so inspirational to so many.  And her poetry is so moving, and her music- I have no words for it.  I just love it.  I went to the FROSTY concerts just to see her play.
and if you want to read her amplefantastnesstickalicious blog, you should visit this website: http://butterflyprophet.blogspot.com/2010/10/lahv.html

Doesn't the name just say enough? And her description: "I plan to die fully satisfied with my life."
nuff said.

I dub Nabi most inspirational artist in Stacey magazine.

And I had another thought... and lost it.
Typical Stacey.

Oh well, next subject...
So I've been writing a lot more.  Drawing more.  I feel so much more creative lately.  I feel like a true individual. I feel closer to being at ease.  The reason why: because I'm not stressed.  I'm not over-exerted. And I'm making time to do what I enjoy. I'm making time to listen to others, but also to listen to myself and read and write.
I'll post some of my recent more abstract drawings- the ideas are just flowing better, and they all look like something simple and regular with an odd twist.  I've developed a bit of my own style actually.  It started in high school, with a few odd eyeball drawings. When I don't know what to draw, I draw them.  Otherwise I draw random organic shapes and go from there.  Usually, I end up drawing flowers with leaves and swirls, and those are usually the ones I like the most.  I think it's telling me something:  they must be close to my heart, somehow.  The trees, and the leaves.  The organic, irregular shapes and swirls from here to there.  A bit of disarray, a few lines here and there that somehow look like an organized mess.  Maybe that's just who I am.  And I realize how much these tiny scraps of paper mean to me. So I keep them on my wall with pictures of my family, friends and my dreams.

I wrote a letter to Stacey, who's been my friend for 13 years now, despite having moved to Ohio when we were 7 years old. (It was May and I believe she had just turned 7 before leaving.)  Just seeing her writing and feeling the "Stacey Mighton" embossed letterhead is just so pleasing to me.  Me gusta... Most people would've let go by now, but some sort of peaceful force keeps us together, though far away.  And whatever that majestic force is- some call it God but personally, I'm not so sure. Well, whatever it is- magical moments and deep connections make me believe in it, I thank it. And somehow, some way or another, I thank it every day for something and everything at the same time.

Pardon me if I write a little about my personal beliefs, as they are not fact, but merely thoughts well above my physical being.  But my temporal lobe seems to be working a little more lately one what my reality really is.

My drawings- notice the eye!

Oh hey, I didn't write about this, but I'm voting! And I'm excited about it!

I'm putting it in...

Oh wait, I have to model it first- it's my voting VIRGINITY!  

This is my satisfied face. Er, well, uh, Luke, please stop taking pictures  but I'm still laughing face.

More of my drawings with my beautiful sister's face in the corner.  The focus on the one above was on the  style of eyes I like to draw. That's not my favourite though.

Didn't write about this either- UKRAINIAN EGGS! :)  I did this one!
BOOASIF. No, that's Jacklyn's...

So are these.

Briana did this one... dvj,nvksjhvksh So PRETTY!  

Mine is the blue one.  It was supposed to be lighter and I should have made prettier petals but my typical swirls are on it haha.

I hope Michael doesn't mind me posting- but he put a lot of detail in his egg and he was just so concentrated!
Despite dropping it twice (and me laughing) his turned out beautifully.

My name in Cree :)  a few things from Chisasibi and my beautiful calendar.

This is my wall! :)
Notice: bottom is my list of dreams... I should really post this one! and a To Do List.  and in the centre: a small piece of paper from a child in Chisasibi: "I love. You. Stacey."

I need to get to bed some day, but I'm just reminding myself to write a little about what my thoughts are on comfort.
And what discomfort can do for us.
As well as my list of dreams! (That I keep updating)

Remember to Live - a short poem. (yeah, short, by Stacey Speers. Can you believe it?)

Remember to Live.
- I wrote a poem using this sentence a while ago.  I dont remember it all, but I wrote another version.

My dear friend, you must remember to live.
But, too, it is very important that you remember to give.

Remember to live, Remember to give.

Giving, my friend, is living you know.
But in truth,
You're not really living,
If all you're doing is giving.
So in the end, what we really need,
Is an apple on either side of the Teeter-totter.

An apple to give.
An apple to live.

To give is to live, yes. But to live is to give too.

And when one can balance those,
They'll see harmony.
Experience love and a life worth living.

More pictures of the Northern Coop Sun Farm

MOOOO.  they were really friendly, yet still a little shy at the same time.  Good qualities in cows.

Here they all are, approaching us.

The Coop centre- where they can have their community meals and meetings.

This is where the wheat is grinded to make flour!

The windmill- So and so was Dutch so he had to have it. We all got a chance to climb up there :)

Briana on her way up. I could have posted a much worse picture...

I just thought this was a nice way to let some light into a place. :)  A skylight.

Visiting the Northern Sun Coop Farm!

Naked sauna... What?

No, it's not a nudist colony.  No, they don't shit into their hands, as some people have heard.   It's a co-op farm, and their way of living for sustainability is not only a peaceful way of living, a unique way of living, but a responsible way of living.  And honestly, why don't more of us adopt more of their ways?  Because we're stuck on the selfish, destructive not constructive way of living we've become so accustomed to.  To me, that stinks more than the compost they make from the waste their bodies produce, only to put back into the land they took their food from.

On this day, Earth day, Good Friday, we were lucky enough to work a little and have a tour at the Northern Sun Coop Farm.  There are about 17 people living there, in houses, many of which straw bale and made of recycled materials.  They worked hard to build everything so that it suited their needs (nothing excessive, of course) and were sustainable, lasting and made sense to them.  Thus, little new materials were used in the making of their houses.

In the end, it appears to me that they're living a fulfilling lifestyle most people will never really know.

So here's how our day went:
In the morning, we were a little chilly so we were put to work to warm up a little.  Work consisted of moving a stack of wood as well as a few rocks.  The rocks were, of course the fun part, since we had to work together to move the larger ones and came up with some creative and innovative ways of moving them together.  Laughs were shared as we'd pull one and all fall at once as the rope around the rock slipped.
Then, we relaxed in their house for lunch which was followed by a long talk about their philosophies and beliefs, some history and how they got there and just stuck.  "Noble was born in my room, under the skylight with a full moon and the stars above. Sam, 7 years old held the flashlight."

It's certainly fascinating to see other lifestyles and soon, maybe one Katimavik volunteer will experience that for two weeks when we're billeting.

After, we were given a tour of the farm, including sights of the cows, the goat and sheep, the windmill and the wells and their houses.  They explained how everything was built, how much it all costed (mostly next to nothing) and why they were more efficient in this way or that. (Especially straw bale houses.)  Everything- the windmill, the wells- you name it- they built it.  One thing they didn't build: plumbing. electricity.  They just didn't see the need.

And the way they use their waste is a really interesting topic.  They have a bucket system they eject into.  (Interesting word choice, I'm aware.  It seems fitting to me...) They put worms in with that and the waste becomes soil that goes back into the earth.  I guess they have a give and take sort of policy.  The earth gives them a penny, so later they give back to the earth.
"as humans, we have these hands and these brains..."
She told us that we were created to do great things- things that destruct, and things that can create as well.

Mitch even talked about how he loves to be there so he can create things.  He's worked on a lot of projects constructing the green house, the coop centre, and helping with houses.  Later he continued to tell us that he also loves destructing. They go hand in hand, you know.  All of this reminded me of studying a little of Hinduism in World Religions class a few years ago, the God of destruction, Shiva.
I remember thinking why would they have a God of Destruction, such a terrible thing?  Because destruction is creation.  Destruction leaves room for more creation.  So by all means, Shiva is not at all a negative energy to respect.

Following our tour, we had the opportunity to experience a sauna.
Now,because of this sauna, there are rumours that they're a nudist colony or whatever and they're not.

But yes, naturally, most people that live there prefer doing the sauna's in the nude.  Katimavik volunteers, however, did so in their underwear.
Except me.  I went in my towel and remained wrapped in that until I finally got the nerve to let go of all my insecurities and just be.  When I finally did, it felt so liberating, so pure and when I finished, I felt so clean.  In the sauna, they usually sing songs too. Sometimes they sound like incantations with the Om sound repeated.  "Just make any sound," Kathryn, whom I worked a couple days with at the MPRC said.  She's the one that taught me my first few chords on the guitar actually.  Later, they led spiritual songs we could catch on to.
It was so beautiful and I feel so honoured to have had the opportunity to experience that, even just for a moment.  I hope that I, too can adopt at least some of their ideals of living in my life time.

A garden would probably be a really good first step.  Composting my waste might be a little uncomfortable for my family to get used to, but that could be another.

After the sauna, I rinsed off with a bucket of cool water over my head- followed by a little scream, haha.  Mitch, of course, peered out the door "are you okay?"  Yeah, the girl I am let out a few screams :S  So worth it- i don't know why I hesitated.
Then, we hung out in the house and there was a guitar just screaming "play me Stacey!"
So, with the 4 chords I knew, I started strumming away and sure enough, Mitch plays guitar, so he showed me a few things, and even played  a little.  "Pretty good for just starting on Monday," he said.

Yeah, it's been easier than I thought it would be, since I've had so many people cooperatively teaching me how to play.

It's that simple.  All you have to do is try something, give it a chance.  I always wanted to learn to play but found it too difficult to teach myself. And in less than a week, I've come so much further than I thought I could.  Soon, I want to buy a ukulele so I have something from Steinbach that I can bring home, that will not just sit on a shelf, but I'll be able to play and not just memories will come, but the satisfaction that I learned so many new things that I could carry with me.

Pretty cool eh?

Well, here are some pictures!

I'm not sure what this is called, but I've seen this somewhere else before- it appears to be a few flags in different colours on them with Sanskrit written on it. I wish I'd asked about it.

The beautiful house they built.  You can see behind, that's her room, it's a straw bale addition.

The lovely green house.  Love the artwork...

Inside the green house.  Sorry about this picture :S

One of the wells they built.  Very, very cheaply I might add.

Garlic! Lots of Garlic!

Mitch is picking out a carrot in the recycled soil.

Apparently those carrots are hard to eat...

The sheep, I forget his name, at peace.  You can see those boxes behind- They're wheat!

On another note...

I was published again, have been published every month I've been in Katimavik and even before then!

This time you have to buy the article...  (its about time they did that!)

UNLESS you're crafty and you follow my blog ;)

Here she is:

Yeah, so you hate talking about politics...

Me too. When I don't know where I stand or what to say.


But here's the thing: just vote darnit!


Vote, and vote an EDUCATED vote, PLEASE!


I've always thought this was important, but thanks to François (who loves talking politics) and Mike I guess I've been a little more engaged about it, posting stuff on my Facebook and what-not.
Also, thanks to Gabe, who I work with, I found out about a debate here in Steinbach that I went to and it made me reconsider my vote.


Strategic voting just makes me so mad.  It makes me so mad that we feel the need to do so.  It's the reality though- even I'm considering it.  Thankfully though, I'm from Guelph, and I feel confident the result will be more in my favour.

Here's why:
Federal Election, 2008

FrankValeriote		18977	32.2%
Gloria Kovach		17185	29.2%
Mike Nagy		12456	21.1%
Tom King		9709	16.5%

Things will be different this year though.  Especially after this, I think:

http://www.cbc.ca/news/politics/canadavotes2011/story/2011/04/15/cv-election-guelph-student-vote.html

"The Conservative Party is being criticized over allegations a party member tried to grab a ballot box at the University of Guelph this week. "

That's not to mention the budget, which no other party agreed with. (Causing this whole election)

The conservative party's ideas and focus' are so far from all the others and it's getting us NO WHERE.

The thing is, the conservatives have done good for the economy (I suppose.)
Not for the people though.  


Katimavik, for example had budget costs cut by 25%- one quarter.  Thus, the program will be running in fewer placements, the 9-month program no longer exists (it's all 6-month now) more issues in offices have been created since they're becoming more centralized (west with prairies, Quebec with east.)  Oh yeah and, not that I'm doing Katimavik for the money but post-Katimavik life might not be so easy. No bursary.  And for the next rotation, (starting in July) students are getting $2 a day instead of $3. 

I guess Katimavik isn't important.

Students are paying thousands of dollars every year for tuition costs- an education which is provided for free in many European countries, as it should be and the $$$ continues to rise.  Is Harper doing anything to help that? Nope.  Thanks for keeping me educated and informed conservatives.

I'm not voting conservative.  That's all I can say. 

My job at the MPRC and more!

So far, I like Steinbach more than I thought I might.

Maybe it's just Katimavik that makes people want to be so nice.  Our neighbour, for instance, has already brought us pigs in a blanket (which Mike made some tonight and I'm sure they're delicious but I can't eat them because I've decided to go veggie!) , chocolate chip cookies on the night he gave us firewood for a fire in the backyard and really scrumptious shortbread cookies with icing. (Oh my, so good.)

It reminds me of my neighbour Liz back home. Or when we used to borrow eggs from the neighbours to bake some muffins that we'd share later.  To me, there's nothing like living with your neighbours.  I can't wait to come home and make some bread, not just for us, but for the neighbours I've missed so much!

So my job at the MPRC, I love.  If I were to look for somewhere to volunteer and came across this one in 100 jobs, I'd choose it.
Sometimes I feel like I'm not doing much, but at the end of the day I look back and think: well, if I didn't make their day, they sure did make my day.
I'm sure I've mentioned it, but I'm working with people who are mentally disabled.  When I work at the MPRC Mon, Tues, Thurs, I work with some of the lower functioning people, many of which don't communicate much with language. Wed and Fri I work with people at the retirement centre that are higher functioning and they're just so much fun!

They're all just so personable.  At first I thought it'd be really hard to work with people who don't always understand you and can not respond to you with words, some barely even responding at all.  But in fact, I've never done anything I felt I could learn so much from.

You know what they all say- everyone is different, so we should treat each other how we like to be treated, but interactions are different from person-to-person.  They're different for each individual, of course.  Based on how the person feels, how they react and who they are in relation to you.  Naturally we do this, of course. But you will never truly learn to individualize your interactions quite like you might working with people who are mentally disabled.  You learn so much from them so quickly.  It's so rewarding, it really is.

So on Friday, we went bowling!  Julie wore the incredible white snowsuit (you can see a picture below)  with 349087429578634956702359 katimavik pins on it!  I got to try her on, of course!

This Monday, we went to the Fire Station and got an amazing tour!  You'll see how it went from the pictures...

About to on on up- I was unbelievably excited!

Going Up!

Jean (our PL) and I in the bin of the ladder.  Haha, love her expression here.  Typical Jean, always making me laugh.

The incredible snowsuit....

katima-hero- all I need is a green cape! maybe a green tuque too. And I should be holding home-made bread. that'd be super Katimavik-y

Doesnt it look like an album cover for some sort of band? This is in the fire truck

This is a cute reminder that this is the first lever to pull.  The shoe also reminds them that the child they could be saving is as important as their own. 

Pardon how terrible I look here, but Im putting out a fire!

The new ladder!  I was at the top there!

Im getting blindfolded by the duct taped mask!  This is to show what they would typically go through when theres a house full of smoke.

And he took me into the roof after spinning me!

Reflection of Group living

I got an email from a good friend today, which was really the cherry on my cake today :)  This week was  an odd one, since I was house manager and I was at home all week, so I started to get a little anxious I guess.

I was surprised to find what I really missed.  Before it was peace and quiet. Now?  Conversation.

Can you believe it? Of all things, living in a house with 10 others, I miss conversation?

It's true.  There are a lot of valuable things to learn from group living, but I can't help but to feel somewhat less significant in a house of so many.  As much as I love Katimavik, sometimes group living just doesn't seem quite like my cup of tea.  Often, I just don't feel comfortable.  Probably just because I'm a little bit soft sometimes.

I'm just a little more on edge this week, though, since we're all getting into the swing of things in Steinbach and the only people I saw, for the most part this week were the people I live with.

As for house managing, I must say that I felt my spirits come down a few times.  I let myself become weary of the tasks, of my partner and of the group, which is unfortunate.  Sometimes I just let my own opinions fall into the cracks because it was so much easier to let my partner have their way instead of just doing things my own way. "You have to make sacrifices for the group sometimes," Mike said.  Not to me.  It's  a very valid statement though.  Group living is not always easy.

End of Chisasibi, Start of Steinbach, Post-Katimavik plans?

There were some moments this week where I missed Chisasibi, maybe just a little...

I thought for sure I'd cry when leaving, but I didn't. It's not the place I'll miss, it's the people.  But I'll be back next year I'm pretty sure!

Actually I've been thinking about post-Katimavik options and I'm rethinking going to school right away. I mean, heck, I'm only 19! And all my life I've wanted to do a volunteer project overseas kinda like that crazy adventurous sister of mine.  Well, I found some really neat projects in Costa Rica with Amerispan that I'm considering.  At some point I realized that I really want/ feel the need to learn Spanish (so that my one semester in high school doesn't go to waste) and also, I think it'll improve my French in some ways.  Also because one of my life goals is to learn four languages (everyone in Europe seems to do it, why can't I?) So what's three or so months learning it going to do me harm? NONE!  It'll just make the fourth language I learn even easier! I haven't decided what the fourth will be, but it could very easily be Cree for when I go back to Chisasibi next year! (again, these are really rough plans :S) 

I finally got to talk to my big bro last night!  Ceci m'a vraiment fait du plaisir.  It made me so happy :) I think I needed that touch from home.  This week I was house manager (did the cooking and cleaning) so I think I needed to hear from someone other than the 10 people I see every day.  Someone I knew, someone who was interested in what I had to say.  

So, I never really did a sum for y'all about Chisasibi.

How to sum three months into one...

Well, when I think vaguely, it seems like not a lot happened but we were always so busy that I didn't get a lot of time to think about it.  We were really lucky to be there during community Spirit month. It was a little busier and it made everything so much more fun!  Pajama day was my personal favourite- so many kids pointed at me in my Tweety onesie and smiled.  Painting faces at the arena and at the carnival were really fun too!

It was kind of too bad we were there in the winter in some ways, because it seems like a lot of people just stay in the house in the winter. On the other hand, there's, unfortunately, not a lot grass in Chisasibi (especially where we were living in Chinatown.) Nor are there a lot of trees (mostly only in clusters, not on each lawn like in Guelph) so I can only imagine that without the snow, the streets look a lot different. 

Katimavik... no regrets.

We used to say it all the time.  It might sound bad, but really, it just means that now is our time to try so many new things and open ourselves up to different ways of life.  Being open-minded is so important, especially while we're young and I really think living up North contributed a great deal to this kind of thinking because it's just so different.

I miss Chisasibi when I'm crossing a four-lane road.
I miss Chisaisbi when I see too many colours in front of me.

I miss Chisasibi when we can't go to Winnipeg because we have a 8-passenger van.

I miss Chisasibi when I have to choose which Oranges to buy.

I will miss Chisasibi when we all eat spaghetti with forks. (we didn't have enough in Chisasibi!)

But I'm in Steinbach now.
And thus far, it's not so bad.

Actually, it's been fantastic! Our neighbour, the third time I've lived beside someone named Rick (odd eh?) Has randomly come over to bring us cookies, sausage in a blanket and he even shared some firewood with us so we could have a campfire! :) Every time I've gone out for a run, I've said hello to a few people, who have all smiled.  I haven't worked yet, but I'm really looking forward to it!

We've also met a few other Katimavik groups, which is really nice!  Last weekend, we went to Winnipeg and I had a really good time with a few people who are in the group staying in St. Pierre. Then , we met up with the group who's staying in St. Boniface (both of which are french communities by the way) for a potluck. Afterwards, we went Rollerskating! Woooo!    This Tuesday, we also went to a Jazz club which was a lot of fun too!  There, we were allowed to have a few drinks (but not be visibly drunk of course.)  That we did and it was a really nice atmosphere. 

St. Pierre and Steinbach groups! At the ZOOOOOOO in Winnipeg :) Im in the pink on the far left.

Adorable meerkat

Me being silly, trying to be all ballet-y (and almost getting it- not quite though.) "softer hands!" (says  Yvonne, the dance expert)

"what are you lookin' at?"

Our PLs.  Goofs. haha.

Flamingos- makes me think of the picture of 45 or so at home. I dont remember it, but apparently Mom or Dad rented plastic flamingos for someone's birthday.

They have an ALBINO bison at the zoo. Apparently this is really rare!

This is at the museum in St. Boniface

Louis Riel- the founder of Manitoba.  He's a Métis who was brutally in the end for, well essentially for being Métis.

Ohhh yeah so retro.

Tammy and I at Rollerskating :) Sorry about this picture... Tom sucks.

Prarie Dog!  (a wild one!) At the zoo!

I appreciate so many of the little things so much more in Steinbach since we were in Chisasibi- like a greater variety of foods and more bowls!  and a THRIFT STORE! a big one- the size of Value Village in Guelph :O actually, maybe even bigger...