Every time I see a friend of mine here in Chisasibi (well, now I call it 'sasibi' because that's what the locals call it, haha.) she tells me where the moon is and where the general energy is. And I realy feel it. I think I'm really sensitive to this stuff to tell the truth. I don't understand how or why it works this way, but it really explains a lot.
Well, this weekend, I - don't fret when you hear this, my friends- was in a car accident. We swirved off the road and into a few trees, practically destroying the left side of the car. The car still ran though! We managed to drive for over an hour after the fact, making it to our destination: Wemindji! Anyway, though I don't often seem outwardly stressed, internally, I sometimes freak out a lot. I've learned to better keep my calm on the outside, but maybe, hopefully some day I'l learn to make that calmness on the inside.
Immediately following the accident, I did what I needed to do, relaxed a little, got the kids to the arena, dressed on time for the little boy's hockey game and so on. It wasn't until Monday and yesterday that I was really feeling exhausted, still recovering from the stress. All is well though. Noone even got a scratch (well maybe like less than a papercut...) And everything is being dealt with ;)
So today is a pedagogical day (like a professional development day in Ontario) and we're having a workshop on student literacy today. So far, so good. I think I'm learning a lot, actually. I said to a few teachers that I didn't feel what I was doing in the class was really working for the students because, honestly I don't have a clue what level most of them are at. But there's a lot I need to learn, professionally. I understand why it's important to learn these things before being in the classroom setting. I understand better now, that there's a whole lot of 'I don't knows.' So I'll have a much better knowledge of exactly what the 'I don't knows' are when I'm in school, learning how to teach, and I'll have all the questions to ask so I can learn even better and see things more critically.
Needless to say, I don't think I could've chosen a better time to come here.
And I'm feeling the energy rising, spirits coming up- just as my friend told me I would!
Thursday, November 24, 2011
Friday, November 18, 2011
Hockey mom and teacher? Whoawee!
Well, my friends always used to tell me that I was always busy.
There are ahh moments when I get to sit and relax sometimes.
But not when you're responsible for more than just you, things can get a little crazy-but it's okay.
So I'm a nanny for a couple kids this week. Thursday-Sunday. They have hockey and broomball, I took them to a movie screening and we went to a circus act last night.
This weekend will be a true test to my crash-test mommy experience.
I'm taking them 3 hours away for a hockey tournament. We're going to have to leave at 5:30AM on top of that!
At least they're wonderful sweet kids that do what I ask, usually when I ask. And they both like to be really helpful too. I went to tell the boy to get to bed last night and he was already in bed with a book in his hand! The little girl tells me where everything is in the house, what their routines are and how they usually do certain things. I'm really doing it though... It's amazing what you can acoomplish when there's a little more pressure!
Good thing I just have two periods today. My head feels like it's going to explode-probably just a little stress, dehydration, less sleep to tell the truth.
So I took the little boy to hockey and when I went to get him, I went in the changeroom to help him and he was almost done! I looked at the people in there, felt embarrassed there were no moms or any females (just teenage boys) and I stood outside, figuring he didn't need my help. Well, he did. After a while, he came out, rather upset and at first, refused to talk to me. I explained, told him I felt terrible that I didn't help him and I said "you know, your mom has been doing this for 17 years. This is my first day! So I'm sorry I can't be as good as your mom, but can you please forgive me?" He let me hug him and after some time he cheered up. Later, we went to the cicus act, he was chosen to be a volunteer and he was sooo excited! He did a chin up on the tight wire! Then, the man shook his hand and he hung off the guy for a few seconds. (It was actually adorable and really funny.) This little boy has spunk!
I connect really well with the little girl too. (I'm not writing their names just to be safe.) She's 10 and soooo helpful. From the first time we started talking in the van, we've been pretty close!
Yesterday, I worked 4 periods too. In the one class- a random class I subbed for (that was already set up - they were watching a movie by the time I was called to come in.) a girl started writing notes to me.
"Don't leave!" she wrote.
"aww, I feel loved." I said.
"You are." she replied.
Nuff said.
Some days I have forgotten, but I really am feeling the love here.
But you know, there's love everywhere you go. You just have to find it in your heart and hold it really close.
I've come to the realization, that people are my past time. Naturally-no matter where I am. I don't always make enough time to do hobbies on my own, but I talk to people and that's important too.
So now, I'm the busy momma for a few days. Of course I can do it, of course I can manage. (If the darn dog could ever stop peeing- did I mention there's two puppies and a teenager too? The teenager is respectful though, and I knew his friend that came over-we chatted for a minute or so!)
So here's to all the busybee-teacher-mom-hockey-dogwatchin'-hardworkin' mothers out there: I have mad respect for y'all!
There are ahh moments when I get to sit and relax sometimes.
But not when you're responsible for more than just you, things can get a little crazy-but it's okay.
So I'm a nanny for a couple kids this week. Thursday-Sunday. They have hockey and broomball, I took them to a movie screening and we went to a circus act last night.
This weekend will be a true test to my crash-test mommy experience.
I'm taking them 3 hours away for a hockey tournament. We're going to have to leave at 5:30AM on top of that!
At least they're wonderful sweet kids that do what I ask, usually when I ask. And they both like to be really helpful too. I went to tell the boy to get to bed last night and he was already in bed with a book in his hand! The little girl tells me where everything is in the house, what their routines are and how they usually do certain things. I'm really doing it though... It's amazing what you can acoomplish when there's a little more pressure!
Good thing I just have two periods today. My head feels like it's going to explode-probably just a little stress, dehydration, less sleep to tell the truth.
So I took the little boy to hockey and when I went to get him, I went in the changeroom to help him and he was almost done! I looked at the people in there, felt embarrassed there were no moms or any females (just teenage boys) and I stood outside, figuring he didn't need my help. Well, he did. After a while, he came out, rather upset and at first, refused to talk to me. I explained, told him I felt terrible that I didn't help him and I said "you know, your mom has been doing this for 17 years. This is my first day! So I'm sorry I can't be as good as your mom, but can you please forgive me?" He let me hug him and after some time he cheered up. Later, we went to the cicus act, he was chosen to be a volunteer and he was sooo excited! He did a chin up on the tight wire! Then, the man shook his hand and he hung off the guy for a few seconds. (It was actually adorable and really funny.) This little boy has spunk!
I connect really well with the little girl too. (I'm not writing their names just to be safe.) She's 10 and soooo helpful. From the first time we started talking in the van, we've been pretty close!
Yesterday, I worked 4 periods too. In the one class- a random class I subbed for (that was already set up - they were watching a movie by the time I was called to come in.) a girl started writing notes to me.
"Don't leave!" she wrote.
"aww, I feel loved." I said.
"You are." she replied.
Nuff said.
Some days I have forgotten, but I really am feeling the love here.
But you know, there's love everywhere you go. You just have to find it in your heart and hold it really close.
I've come to the realization, that people are my past time. Naturally-no matter where I am. I don't always make enough time to do hobbies on my own, but I talk to people and that's important too.
So now, I'm the busy momma for a few days. Of course I can do it, of course I can manage. (If the darn dog could ever stop peeing- did I mention there's two puppies and a teenager too? The teenager is respectful though, and I knew his friend that came over-we chatted for a minute or so!)
So here's to all the busybee-teacher-mom-hockey-dogwatchin'-hardworkin' mothers out there: I have mad respect for y'all!
Sunday, November 13, 2011
Catch up post!
Well, it's been a while since I've posted and a lot has happened!
As you may already know, I don't blog about everything I do. that'd be A) boring and time consuming for you and B) time consuming for me, and I don't spend that much time on my own to tell the truth!
I keep telling myself that I need to spend more time on my own- but I've realized that my time here is limited and I want to build relationships with others as much as I can while I'm here.
Needless to say, I'm pretty busy.
Some people say it's 'boring' here. I'd say it's anything but. Then again, I do have the tendency to very rarely be "bored."
"It's a choice," I remember saying to a man when I was hitchiking. There's always something to do.
So in case you're wondering what I'm typically up to, well, to give you an idea, I'll tell you my schedule.
Monday (9-4 or longer) school subbing after school- green club (has yet to begin!) then 615-815 Henna Tatoos and Moroccan Tea/music with french speakers!
Tuesday (9-4 or longer) school subbing then Dancercise at 6-7
Wednesday (9-4 or longer) school subbing then I teach a cooking class 5-7 (or longer...)
Thursday (9-4 or longer) school subbing Photography club until 530.
Friday (9-4 or longer) school subbing -- usually something comes up- a party, chaperoning for a high school student council something, dance-whatever!
Saturday -- something always pops up - recently, filming and editing for a 'dogumentary' at the Wapikoni mobile- which is a mobile trailer that sets up in aboriginal community, but lost HALF of it's funding this year :( Luckily, they were able to come to Chisasibi while I was up here and I did a bit of work with a friend up here :) You'll get to see it soon! I've also spent time with various people doing this or that.
Sunday- this is my 'bum' day but it hasn't been the past few weeks!
I wake up in the morning, usually do some house stuff-laundry, cleaning, vacuuming. Then, well, it varies. But at 4:00 I have a creative writing group with a few teachers from the school. We always laugh so much and we have a lot of fun talking about this, that and everything!
Now, I'm subbing in a secondary 2 English class for a while! I'm glad because I think I can do a good job, and I like the students. I have a lot planned for them! :) 2 weeks already planned! I just have some work to go with it! Overheads and whatnot, but the thinking is done. (so no stress ;)) except that this week I'm moving again, to someone's place where I'll be looking after their kids for a couple days :)
I haven't blogged in a while, not just because I didn't have time, but because for a while, I was feeling a little depressed and just didn't feel like it.
There was a time I was feeling unsure about moving in with my boyfriend, I was feeling disconnected from my parents, and I felt I was making little progress in what I was attempting to accomplish in this community.
Last week, though, I started working out and I'm trying to take better care of myself. Since the sun rises at like 9:00 (or so) and sets at 4:15 now, I didn't see the sun for about 3 days straight. Well no wonder I was feeling down!
I needed some vitamin D!
I'll make a point to get outside at break though, or something. Maybe I'll go out with elementary kids haha. And I'm working out now- I got a good deal on my membership because Trevor (the handsome man that manages the gym) is awesome.
Not just that, but every so often, it starts to get weighing when you realize how much some of these kids deal with, and they just take every blow with no problem. They're tough. Really tough. Yet you have some at the other end of the spectrum that are really just spoiled! Christmas here, for example, I've heard (even when I was here with Katimavik) is insane for some families (I've heard of people getting ski-doos, computers, and all kinds of pricey goodies) But again, there's people from both spectrums. There's parents that can't afford to buy their kids new boots or jackets, many that come to school hungry because their parents were too drunk that morning and many of them really look after themselves. The latter parts were harder for me to really see when I was here before. I mean, I knew about it, but I didn't really see it for myself.
I told mom that sometimes I have a really hard time with some of these things and she said "well I read your blog and it doesn't seem like you're having a hard time at all."
Well, let's remember that I'm 19 and I'm teaching. I'm a caring person, and I like to be involved in what I do. When youhave those qualities, it can be a very demanding job. On top of that, it's ESL, and in a remote community. (Mind you, I'm starting to think this comunity isn't remote at all compared to other communities.) I'm also far away from my family, and loved ones, and some friends (even though I've made many anew.) So let's just say, that's a lot of responsibility for anyone, especially someone my age, and considering a lot of the social issues here, I'm doing okay.
I was also having some difficulty no knowing where I'd be working every day. Going to the office in the morning and saying "okay, what do you have for me." It was okay some days, but others, I found difficult to motivate myself to even get up in the morning. (I did, of course, but reluctantly.)
This weekend, I got to enjoy some good ol' fashioned outside snow time yesterday with some little kids and big kids too! We made a snow castle, then had a snowfight! I had my bare hands, of course, since I gave my gloves to another kid haha. But there were some intense moments, some dog piles, snow bombs from above and a whole lot of laughter. Oowah! :) I even got to try some traditional Ptarmigan (much better this time) fried, not boiled and hunted by a 75-year-old man. (75 and still hunting-can you believe it? Yeah!)
I also enjoyed a traditional Maroccan meal and a traditional Cree meal (moosemeat!) I've been spoiled with awesomeness!
So I'm back up to my normal upbeat happiness now, and I need to get to bed if I'm going to stay that way!
As you may already know, I don't blog about everything I do. that'd be A) boring and time consuming for you and B) time consuming for me, and I don't spend that much time on my own to tell the truth!
I keep telling myself that I need to spend more time on my own- but I've realized that my time here is limited and I want to build relationships with others as much as I can while I'm here.
Needless to say, I'm pretty busy.
Some people say it's 'boring' here. I'd say it's anything but. Then again, I do have the tendency to very rarely be "bored."
"It's a choice," I remember saying to a man when I was hitchiking. There's always something to do.
So in case you're wondering what I'm typically up to, well, to give you an idea, I'll tell you my schedule.
Monday (9-4 or longer) school subbing after school- green club (has yet to begin!) then 615-815 Henna Tatoos and Moroccan Tea/music with french speakers!
Tuesday (9-4 or longer) school subbing then Dancercise at 6-7
Wednesday (9-4 or longer) school subbing then I teach a cooking class 5-7 (or longer...)
Thursday (9-4 or longer) school subbing Photography club until 530.
Friday (9-4 or longer) school subbing -- usually something comes up- a party, chaperoning for a high school student council something, dance-whatever!
Saturday -- something always pops up - recently, filming and editing for a 'dogumentary' at the Wapikoni mobile- which is a mobile trailer that sets up in aboriginal community, but lost HALF of it's funding this year :( Luckily, they were able to come to Chisasibi while I was up here and I did a bit of work with a friend up here :) You'll get to see it soon! I've also spent time with various people doing this or that.
Sunday- this is my 'bum' day but it hasn't been the past few weeks!
I wake up in the morning, usually do some house stuff-laundry, cleaning, vacuuming. Then, well, it varies. But at 4:00 I have a creative writing group with a few teachers from the school. We always laugh so much and we have a lot of fun talking about this, that and everything!
Now, I'm subbing in a secondary 2 English class for a while! I'm glad because I think I can do a good job, and I like the students. I have a lot planned for them! :) 2 weeks already planned! I just have some work to go with it! Overheads and whatnot, but the thinking is done. (so no stress ;)) except that this week I'm moving again, to someone's place where I'll be looking after their kids for a couple days :)
I haven't blogged in a while, not just because I didn't have time, but because for a while, I was feeling a little depressed and just didn't feel like it.
There was a time I was feeling unsure about moving in with my boyfriend, I was feeling disconnected from my parents, and I felt I was making little progress in what I was attempting to accomplish in this community.
Last week, though, I started working out and I'm trying to take better care of myself. Since the sun rises at like 9:00 (or so) and sets at 4:15 now, I didn't see the sun for about 3 days straight. Well no wonder I was feeling down!
I needed some vitamin D!
I'll make a point to get outside at break though, or something. Maybe I'll go out with elementary kids haha. And I'm working out now- I got a good deal on my membership because Trevor (the handsome man that manages the gym) is awesome.
Not just that, but every so often, it starts to get weighing when you realize how much some of these kids deal with, and they just take every blow with no problem. They're tough. Really tough. Yet you have some at the other end of the spectrum that are really just spoiled! Christmas here, for example, I've heard (even when I was here with Katimavik) is insane for some families (I've heard of people getting ski-doos, computers, and all kinds of pricey goodies) But again, there's people from both spectrums. There's parents that can't afford to buy their kids new boots or jackets, many that come to school hungry because their parents were too drunk that morning and many of them really look after themselves. The latter parts were harder for me to really see when I was here before. I mean, I knew about it, but I didn't really see it for myself.
I told mom that sometimes I have a really hard time with some of these things and she said "well I read your blog and it doesn't seem like you're having a hard time at all."
Well, let's remember that I'm 19 and I'm teaching. I'm a caring person, and I like to be involved in what I do. When youhave those qualities, it can be a very demanding job. On top of that, it's ESL, and in a remote community. (Mind you, I'm starting to think this comunity isn't remote at all compared to other communities.) I'm also far away from my family, and loved ones, and some friends (even though I've made many anew.) So let's just say, that's a lot of responsibility for anyone, especially someone my age, and considering a lot of the social issues here, I'm doing okay.
I was also having some difficulty no knowing where I'd be working every day. Going to the office in the morning and saying "okay, what do you have for me." It was okay some days, but others, I found difficult to motivate myself to even get up in the morning. (I did, of course, but reluctantly.)
This weekend, I got to enjoy some good ol' fashioned outside snow time yesterday with some little kids and big kids too! We made a snow castle, then had a snowfight! I had my bare hands, of course, since I gave my gloves to another kid haha. But there were some intense moments, some dog piles, snow bombs from above and a whole lot of laughter. Oowah! :) I even got to try some traditional Ptarmigan (much better this time) fried, not boiled and hunted by a 75-year-old man. (75 and still hunting-can you believe it? Yeah!)
I also enjoyed a traditional Maroccan meal and a traditional Cree meal (moosemeat!) I've been spoiled with awesomeness!
So I'm back up to my normal upbeat happiness now, and I need to get to bed if I'm going to stay that way!
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