Pow Wow

As we're entering the gymnasium, all seems quiet, since they were beginning to serve food.  There was no music or dance at that given moment, so, of course, a team of ten young people in emerald green t-shirts are the attraction of the moment and everyone stares, while the emcee simultaneously announces our rather obvious arrival. "They're going to learn to dance!" He informed us, as well as the audience.  Of course, I was psyched, yet still in awe that 1. This is a 100% foreign cultural environment and I'm surrounded in it.  (It still hasn't sunk in) and 2. People actually care that we're here.  Not only do they not mind, but they really appreciate it, and they really just want to share all that they can with us! 10 Katimavik volunteers in such a close-knit community of about 5000 certainly do not go unnoticed. 

As we stood in a line to watch the Cree dancers show us how it's done in their magnificent traditional dress, we can not help but to smile, to laugh and to laugh.  (Especially when Chris, our PL starts dancing too soon...)

It's common, I've learned, for them to give cash prizes at Pow Wows, so they decided to make a competition between Katimavik volunteers for our dancing around the drum circle. Our lovely Yvonne took first place, Olivia second and Chris third, Micheal Fourth. 

So at a Pow Wow, they have one big drum in the middle that a few men bang on, and many come dressed in traditional dress (which is called regalia) There are times when there are certain people, who are traditional dancers are the only ones to be dancing, and another for those that attend the sweat lodge (a separate religious experience which involves praying in a sauna-like setting.) The rest of the time, anyone and everyone can dance around the drum circle and sing along.

The Pow Wow was a little different from the memorial dance in that it was a little more upbeat and colourful, with flashier costumes and I'd say a few more people came.

But just the same as the memorial dance, the children are so beautiful, with the giant grins they wear so frequently and their ability to trust so quickly.  I suppose we're a main attraction, bearing that pretty green colour on our fair skin (er, well, 9/10 of us, one stands out for the opposite reason!)  At some point, a little girl who didn't say a word (she must have been between 2 and 3) grabbed my finger and started walking.  Of course, she wanted me to dance with her!  So I danced around the drum circle with this beautiful little girl who's name I still don't know!  One of the things they do is picking a spot before people get on the dance floor and when the drum stops, the dancers (whoever joins) stop in their place.  If they happen to be near the spot they chose before, they win a prize.  Of course, it was her that stopped exactly in that place and the 25$ prize went to the mini-beauty holding my hand.  I was so thrilled to take her to the table to (even if she didn't understand)  Thankfully her parents came to claim her prize!

Before the Pow Wow even started, we spoke with the emcee, who gave us a taste of his philosophy which was actually really spectacular to hear.  He's from Alberta and he mentioned living where he and his children could always be around horses and other animals. 

"Anyone, anything can teach you," he said, "even a horse can teach you things."

He also mentioned, among other things, that he was really glad to have people interested in the culture, and that we're here, giving our time to help this community and learn about it.

Another idea I might borrow from Elizabeth Gilbert in Eat Pray Love, is the idea of giving each place or person a word.  And Chisasibi's, I believe, would most certainly be sharing.  Because here, there are no fences.  They don't own their land individually, their people does, their community.  They share food, they share laughs, they share their culture, they share their philosophy, way of life, their knowledge.  And to me, to live without sharing isn't really living.

Sharing knowledge?

This is exactly what Katimavik is.

And Chisasibi is the perfect place for such a novel idea.

Pow Wow and More

So today was yet another epic success!  It was a TON of fun too!

So we showed up to the Mitchuap (the Tee pee) really early, and it was the first time we were in our Katimavik T-shirts so we took advantage of that and took some pictures! 

The Cree way is really a "don't worry it'll get done" type-thing, as I mentioned before, so events don't always start when they say they will. 

And after all this, we went home, had Nazi Goreng (a rice curry with chicken and ham- so good.)   Then we went to the Pow Wow!

For now, though, I just wanted to post some group pictures :)  (later I'll talk about the Pow Wow!)

The Krazy Katimavik Kids! Yes it was about -30 or colder and yes, we ran up this hill in jeans and tshirt...

Love these guys!

Tender Moments

I'm dancing at the pow wow with a new friend :)

One of the beautiful traditional outfits they wore!

  This woman is in the midst of dancing! :)

Eat, Pray Love

Blog  Jan 30 2011 3:24 AM

Honestly, the end of my day could not have gotten any better...

I send my sincere apologies for not blogging as frequently, but I’ve had little time to spare and when I did, I didn’t feel being on the computer was the most productive use of my time. (I might have finished a marvelous book I’d highly recommend to ANYONE: Eat, Pray, Love- so inspiring, so entertaining and heart-warming, and I could go on…) 

Now that I think of it, I guess this week really  was an Eat Pray Love week.  As (bear with me, for this is a taboo term now since it’s been changed to “responsable de maison”) I was house manager this week, I made some really fantastically delicious food with my housemate Olivia.  Oh and Mom:  your fajita pie is absolutely fantastic- even my replica, which wasn’t as good was worthy this title: “The best food I have ever eaten” – François.  No need for me to travel to Italy for good food I guess. 

I also made the bread.  Honestly, not to boast, but it’s actually the best bread I’ve ever eaten.  Partly because it’s so satisfying to know that I baked that bread. Also, I got such positive feedback from all my housemates.   Plus, it was actually so much better than store bought. And dirt cheap! I highly recommend everyone try baking bread as often as possible.

I will post some recipes soon enough, so bear with me on that!

Today, we were invited to a round table dance to celebrate the life of a life lost in the community.  I feel embarrassed to say that I honestly cannot remember the man’s name, but I’m sure his spirit was there with us, dancing and laughing.   When it came time to pray for his family, all I could think of was love.  I hope his family can experience more love during and after their time of mourning. 

“This is how you bring a community together,” I said to my project leader.

There was not a single person in that room that did not smile.  I did not know this man, but I felt his energy.

The round dance we were so incredibly fortunate to witness is basically a drum circle with chanting and people create a train around the drum circle, keeping step to the beat and circling their arms.  Then, there is a part where a man (I’m assuming his brother) walks around with what looks like a tiny frying pan with burning tobacco and herbs.   They believe the smoke brings the spirits to them.  I wish I could share more about the meaning, but I have yet to learn this much. 

My oh my, I must say though, these people can really sing.  Many travelled far distances, one from BC, another Saskatchewan and one more from Ontario to come sing for this round dance, so it truly was a big deal and I’m glad we didn’t miss it!  I haven’t even mentioned Karaoke on Tuesday night… flawless.

Their chants remain in my head at this very moment.  My urge to want to sing along still lingers as well.

As if being in that gymnasium wasn’t enough, the family was also offering food: bannock, sandwiches, crackers and jus served.  Oh but it gets better…  Many of my housemates left around 12:30 so they could get to bed, but the hardcore ones (myself and Yvonne) that stayed left with several items received as gifts.  It is a tradition for them to give out gifts to members of the community, and it was a massive pile of incredible gifts! I for one, was eyening the paintings. They were paintings with one goose perfectly painted with a plain and simple sunset/sunrise background.  And I got it.

“If you want something, the universe will turn around to give it to you” our PL, Chris said.

Well, I did.  And I feel so grateful.  I love this.  I love these people. I absolutely love this community.

And tomorrow, there’s a Pow Wow. Cultural Discovery much?

Losing a Member

Nik and his goofy posed smile.  He's not one to smile for the camera- instead he prefers to look like a troll!

 

Here's a real smile, even if it's hidden.  Nik, in his playful spirit that we'll miss, adored these dogs (Especially Bruno) I meant to post this picture some time ago, but gave up when it was taking so long to load! I'm impressed I got two in one post (that's because it's late and no one else is using the computer for once!)

It feels really strange to say this now, a member of our family has left us for personal reasons. :( Nik, we'll miss you brother!  Since it was within the first few weeks of our "probation period", we may be getting a new member of the family.  A boy, and since we don't have anyone from out East we're hoping for one!  But I guess we get what we're given since it would be such short notice for a 6-month program!

Dinner last night was really hard, since he wasn't there and Yvonne was really sick, so it felt like most of the group wasn't there.  That just goes to show how much a single person can really change the group dynamic, and honestly, it's comforting to me.  Just because it means that each one of us means something to the rest. Our presence here is valued. 

Hilarious but heartwarming

A whole lot has happened since I last blogged, and I'd really love to keep to my daily routine of blogging, but our free time is limited now that we have work and we're starting to plan more activities.

My second day of work was a lot more fun, since I was I got to work with the gym teacher.  I got to work with a wider range of ages, which brought me closer to the conclusion that I'm pretty sure I can work with kids of any age.  I prefer to work with tweens mostly (8-11 I guess) since I can joke around with them, but they're so innocent, imaginative and best of all, if you listen, they'll respect you. There are perks for every age though.  Especially since the younger ones are so sweet and innocent, enthusiastic and energetic.  "I have more hope that the next generation will be better," the gym teacher said.  He said that after I asked what his favourite age to work with was. He told me that he didn't have a specific preference, but once kids reach grade 6 and 7 (Secondaire I in Quebec,) they start becoming more apathetic, rebellious and sometimes disrespectful and they do things like spitting sunflower seeds in the gym. Not all of them, of course, but there are always a few. Right now, by the way, there is one school for K-12 They're working on building another school though.

Okay, so I thought I'd add this to make things a little more interesting (just to interrupt the train of thought).  We are all a little overtired and one of us is a little emotional and I think Chris might stop breathing because Francois is trying to comfort her and he said "can I do something?... I can do so much things..."  then he started talking about collages, " I can make you a collage," he said.  I love it here.  Goodness I love these people... Noone can cry without laughing right after. "Seriously, if there's something I can do, I will do it," says Francois.  We're never really alone here, and we're so supportive of each other.

Hilarious, but heartwarming.

Friday night, we were invited to a school dance, Saturday night we were invited to a neighbour's house for dinner and a movie and Sunday night we were invited to play soccer at the school. WELCOME TO CHISASIBI.  We certainly feel welcome here!  It's wonderful, people are actually really interested to meet us! I didn't go to the dance on Friday because I wanted to get some homework done.  Saturday, I woke up early to make a cake for Brooke since it was her 19th birthday, which we celebrated at our friend Jean's house.  It was so fantastic to be able to do something different, meet people in the community and actually have a few extra dollars to buy food we'll enjoy for the next week. 

Today, I was supposed to go to the Cree culture camp!  Unfortunately, the teacher that was supposed to go called in the morning and told the Vice Principal that he had a meeting in Montreal for something.  The Vice Principal thought maybe he could work it out, so we waited in the front foyer for a while,  only to find out that they weren't going after all.  Instead, I made a beaded bracelet all day with a few girls aged 12-13 years old, which was really alright for me!  I had fun with my Bieber-loving (maybe even obsessed) friends, even went out for recess with them, which was fun.  The school atmosphere is really relaxed, "it'll get done," is the attitude, it's a huge contrast to the schooling I had back at home in a school of about 2000 people. 

And now, I am exhausted!  This blog took me forever to complete because, it seems I'm a little loopy because I am giggling at everything people are saying and veering off my train of thought mid-sentences. (That's not that abnormal for me, but I think I'm becoming beady-eyed right now...)

Bed time! at 12 :S

First Day of Work

So, today was my first day at the James Bay Eeyou School!  It's really neat to see how different everything really is here, even in Quebec in general!  For example, students are provided with water that is available at all times, and every students gets milk between their arrival and lunch time.  I believe this is unique to Chisasibi, but at lunch time, most students walk home or have lunch elsewhere.  

I also just got paid. $21 for the week... the fact that I get paid for this is just, unbelievable. But fantastic. Really fantastic.

The day was alright. It was a little confusing at moments, but it's a really laid-back atmosphere among the people which I really like.  The students are so sweet, it's so nice to see the kids actually open doors for you and smile so often.  One little girl that I spoke to briefly after lunch walked past me, putting her hand in my pocket. I didn't really react because I knew she didnt take anything (she was too obvious, she didnt run and there was nothing in her hand.)  So I just thought she was being silly with me.  Later, I put my hand in my pocket and I found some bubblegum.  She might as well have painted a smile on my face.  No joker smile though,  a sincere one.

I was amazed to see that the kids really respect their teacher and they actually respected me.  A few boys were hitting each other with library books, I told them to stop and they actually did.  Mind you, I'm not sure what I would've done had they not listened.  At camp (in Ontario), I really felt like I had to work hard towards earning their respect before they listened, but here, a friendly smile and hello might suffice. Not in all cases, of course.  Each class, each individual is a different case though, depending on the upbringing.  

 I'm not sure I really want to work in the Grade 4 French Immersion class though.  I think now is my real opportunity to try to pick up a new language, one that I will feel original for knowing. Sure, it might be useless when I go home, and I'll likely forget most of the words I learn, but I'll feel a whole lot closer to the people here if I can learn some of their language.  Chumuasco, beautiful, I remember.  I learned that one from one of my new friends next door.  She said it when I put a friendship bracelet on her wrist.  A child that truly appreciates being given something.

I don't think I'll ever get over how incredible this opportunity really, truly is.  Even if there are times where I'll miss this and that, after a week, I think I've already fallen in love.  

In love with these people, the place, the neighbourhood, COMMUNITY.

Beautiful Chisasibi

So much goes on in Katimavik, it's crazy! 

Especially in Chisasibi!

The big thing today is JOB PLACEMENTS!  This morning, we went to the MSDC (multi services day centre) so we could all do 5 minute-interviews each with all 4 job placements. Earlier, I suggested they didn't interview us if we weren't interested in the placement, but it was really nice to get to know a little bit about each of them, even if it's talking about myself for 5 minutes. I guess I'm okay with interviews now because I've had my fair share of them, but also, I guess I don't mind talking about myself a little!  I wasn't nervous until the very last one- then my neck went all blotchy and the whole group commented when I got back to the room (it was rather embarrassing actually, I might've hidden my face a little, but Olivia lent me her scarf :)

I got the job I wanted!  I'll be shadowing a teacher in the elementary portion of the school.  It'll be a really neat experience since the school is such a happenin' place, being K-12 and they seem so positive, and I love the principal, she's hilarious! 

So we just got a visitor in our home, providing us with some DELICIOUS LOOKING FOOD (I think we'll share it later). "People do that here?" I said. Honestly, I've never felt so welcome anywhere else! (Not even at home sometimes!  But it's okay Mom, I still love you very, very much and I'll come home someday sometime...) This very gracious man invited us to his home on Saturday to watch a movie (which happens to be Brooke's birthday, and she suggested we watch a movie/ do something special for her 19th!) Gosh, we couldn't possibly be any luckier!  Life doesn't get any better...

Also, we walked to the gift shop today.  We didn't see as much local art there as we might have liked (most of us want to buy moccasins, slippers, pretty much anything that was made here)  But it's not a craft shop, so  it didn't really matter that much.  I took a gross amount of pictures of the sunset with the white frost on the trees. the whole time I kept saying "It's SOOOO pretty!" In an odd, cookie-monster voice.  On the way back, we went to the mall to get some chocolate and cochonerie (which I've learned I should be careful with that term since it has a double meaning...)  We met one woman, who asked us if we were from Katimavik, and this sweet lady just seemed sooo thrilled. She informed us that her friend (or daughter? I can't remember to be honest)  taught the last Katimavik group how to sew! I also talked to the lady in the line up who insisted we have our places in line in front of her, but we decided to go half and half. "There's a lot of us," I said, " and one of you!"  She was pretty funny, and I didn't mind asking her questions like "is agooda [I heard someone else say it] I am well."  She told it us it was more like "okay"  We've started a wall of Cree words, so I'll try to remember that one.  It's so neat to be able to learn a completely new language here! 3 months feels like it's not nearly long enough now!  It's so nice to be awknowledged and appreciated, even for work we have yet to partake in!

We also had a cree cultural workshop where two women from the Band council (which is basically they're government) came in to tell us a little bit about their culture, how things work here in Chisasibi and some of their history, which I actually really appreciated because they have had to endure a great deal through history here, and it really seems unfair.  I knew this before coming, but the government of Quebec actually, basically forced them to move from Fort George to where they are now just so they could build their dam. What I didn't know, however, (or think of for that matter) is that they actually have to pay for their hydro.  Many of the Cree people here believe that, after giving their land, it's not fair. Many refuse to pay hydro, some have just given up and others just don't care.

I hope to write more about the Cree philosophy when I know more, but the common phrase here is "it'll get done.."  People like to take their time, enjoy themselves, and family is really priority.  Thus, people here like to take their time.  Ahhhh... Perfect for me!  People that actually smell the roses and appreciate the little things!

"Remember to Live," that saying I found on the bathroom wall came to mind.

"Ohhh, remember to live, remember to give," a poem I wrote later, inspired by it.  It all applies here.

Chisasibi, you're so beautiful, how could I ever leave you?

Jobs, jobs more jobs!

So, like I said, there's four possible placements here. Each one is an incredible experience. The only place I couldn't see myself working is the radio station just because I'm not into the music culture like I think you'd need to be in that case.  The daycare would be fun, but I'm here to explore, and I've already worked at a daycare before!  The school would be a fantastic experience because I could see if being an elementary school teacher is really what I want to do.  (that's what my mind is set on right now) Again, I'm here to explore my options though. And the MSDC (multi-services day centre) offers the opportunity to work with people with special needs, elderly who need care (group care, through activities) and I'd work with people with mental illnesses. I don't believe there are too many places like the MSDC in Ontario (or any for that matter.)   There are times that some things might be difficult for me, like keeping some things confidential for one. I like sharing.  If it's someone else's secrets, though, I'm sure I could make do. It's a slow-paced environment and very laid-back, which I think I might like.
The school on the other hand is very gogogo.  It's K-12 and they're pretty open- they'll put you either in the library or basically anywhere you want to go, from the communications technology and cooking room, to Kindergarten, to Elementary or if you really want (but they doubt you do) the high school. It's a very central part to the community too since it's the only school in Chisasibi.  I was amazed of how high the energy was too!  The principal seemed to know all the students quite well, and have a positive relationship with all the ones we saw.  The teachers all seemed to want to be there too. 'There must be something we like up here if we choose to be so secluded,' she said.  (That's not an exact quote)

Anyway, my new friends are outside waiting for me, so I'm going to go outside and play! :)

Happy Times

So much happens in one day, and by the end of the day I'm so tired, that I honestly, forget about what to write.  Throughout the day, I think about what I might write and by the end, it just slips my mind!

Yesterday was a really laid-back day.  We learned about the 8 Katimavik competencies, which have to be considered in every activity we do (they're along the lines of the list I wrote earlier), learned more about our role as "house manager", which I'm sure I'll write about in 3 weeks when I am a house manager myself.  We've also gotten a little more free-time the past few days, so I submitted an article to the Guelph Mercury and I've been working on one of my projects for school.  

Today was a lot more exciting.  We got to go out and meet two out of four of the places we could be working.  The work placements are in the school, at the radio station, one of 3 daycare centres, or the multi-services day centre.  We will be interviewed by the coordinator from every placement of which we're interested in on Wednesday and we start work on Thursday.  

As much as I adore little ones, I don't think the daycare is what I want to do, only because I've already worked in a daycare with French kids for a summer, so I'd rather expand my experiences, of course! And, I'm seriously considering becoming a teacher for elementary school, so an opportunity like this could help me decide whether or not that's my 'thing'.  I would really like to work at the Multi-Services day Centre as well, since, I feel it would be a really unique experience, I could learn a great deal about people in general and I might be able to gain a more accurate perspective about mental health and judging others in general. The radio would be a super cool job too, I guess I'm just not interested.

I feel the need to mention, though, that one year ago tomorrow, a man I really looked up to passed away, and I think it's really important that those of you that knew him take a moment to remember him.  Dave Smith, the Captain and CO of the Red Arrows Squadron of Guelph as I knew him passed, leaving behind a daughter around my age and a son not much older.  He did so much for the air cadet program- he was one of the reasons I stayed, actually, and I think the world needs more people like him.

I was also thinking about Micheal Elrick the other day.  He comes to mind rather often, since CELP had such a huge impact on me.  My Project leader here also reminds me a little bit of him, his spirit, enthusiasm and knowledge.  Only recently did I learn that his cancer was likely caused by the cedar he cut for our nametags every semester without wearing a mask.  I still can't believe he's gone sometimes.

I don't mean to bring the mood of this blog down, but death just happens in life, so all we can do is take the time to remember them, let our tears fall, then keep them close to us in a jar and celebrate lives well lived.  

Three children came to our door today just at the right time!  It's not uncommon for them to feel comfortable just knocking on the door and asking if they can just come in and play.  There are 10 if us here to entertain, and they feel safe, which is important.  I'm honoured to be part of that though.  One girl spoke for the rest, more than any of us, and the other two sort of revealed themselves slowly as time progressed.  After we listened to one of them, we'll say Daisy, one of them (I'll name her Samantha for now) pointed at my yoga poster and said "I can do that"  So I said "lets try, I'll try it with you!"  Then she said "noooo, I'm too shy!"  Later, we were all trying various yoga poses from the bridge to tree pose to dancer, and more.  Then, we started colouring for a little while.  I drew a dog, of course, and the girls followed.  Another girl (we'll say Wanita) who is the sister of Samantha came for a while as well.  Eventually, I was the only one socializing with them, and one of them decided to draw my name on a piece of paper for me (Wanita).   Then Samantha wrote in big letters "BFF Stacey and [Daisy]" the other girl, Sally was really quiet, she didn't say much, but she started to be silly, drawing marker on her nose, making silly faces (grimace is the french word, I think it suits better.)  Daisy drew a really cute Spongebob card I promise I'm taking home that says "Welcome/Bienvenue" like the sign we made for the two of us that arrived a day later and keep in the house.  I made a little collage with the animals on the wall in the dining room and brought the art the girls made for me down to my room to put up by my bed (along with the family photos I brought with me)  

I'm really looking forward to starting my job now.  I can see that there will certainly be a great deal of challenges, since there is such a huge cultural difference between myself and the fine people of Chisasibi, but also the fact that they all speak Cree and I can speak anything but. (well, French and English, for that matter.)  But I hope to learn a little Cree.  We have labels in English and French on various items throughout the house, and I'd really like to try to get those labeled in Cree as well!  I think it's manageable- we have the alphabet posted so we can figure things out, people that are so warm (makes me think of the word chaleureux I learned when I was in Quebec on an exchange a few years ago.  The sound of it alone, just feels more descriptive to me.) 

Our PLO (project leader officer) so our leader's boss, left us today :( Denis (that's a French Denis, not Dennis) left on a good note, leaving us with various of his habitable quotes such as "Guys, I'm just sayin'..." (with his hands in front of him, elbows closer to the torso and the side look.) I don't know how to describe him other than what I mentioned earlier that he said "I'm like a shooting star" well, I guess we better make our wishes. Honestly, I have no wishes for myself right now. Things can't get much better at this point. Except if Denis could stay.  Couldn't this meteorite just land in our backyard so we could gawk for a little longer before some museum curator takes it away? No? okay, well then I guess the shooting star is in our memories then.

Something really nice that I'd like to add here, is how much I really love the people I'm living with here.  Of course, I'm not one to let things bring me down generally, I just cry, then I go on with my day.  But a friend saw me cry (this was about Mr. Smith, thinking, what if that were my dad), asked me if I was okay and sat down with me for a while. Generally, I don't want people in my space in those situations (so I go off on my own) but he actually made me feel so much better with a combination of laughter, advice and opening up about his recent difficulties.  A few more were around, but not too close to laugh along and honestly, I don't think the situation could have been any better than that.  I would have been able to carry on just as well if no one came to see me, but I wouldn't feel nearly as supported now if they hadn't done so.  We really do,  honestly, already have a family (or something like it) here and I feel so blessed. I'm not religious, but it's like God stuck his huge hand through the clouds, put it in front of me to step onto and put me on one of those clouds to see from a bird's eye view how good I really have it here.  

Kati-Catching!

So I guess the Facebook publications help, but I've been quite surprised to find some views on this blog from really interesting places such as: France, India, Germany, Malaysia and Slovenia.  Cool eh!  Katimavik knowledge is expanding but I'd feel a lot better if I had a few more than a very meager four followers...

So today, we did a scavenger hunt-type thing which was cool because we got to see more of the city ourselves, meet more of the locals and only about 10 more dogs. The dogs are crazy, actually. Lovely, but there are so many and they love jumping and if you don't show your affection for some, they'll jump up and, well, practically dance with you (one in particular anyway- named him Bruno.) I'm starting to see how some people get annoyed. Nevertheless, I'm still thrilled about having volunteer companions everywhere I go within city limits that I don't even have to feed, walk or care for!

I just finished writing an article for the Guelph Mercury, so once that's published (it should be Jan 13), I'll post it somewhere on my blog and on my Facebook so you can check it out! At this point, it's about 11PM  and I'm ready to pass out, so I think I'm going to keep this blog short today so keep watching!

My first view of the northern lights!

I was rushed and I only took about four pictures, but this is what I got.... it's really hard because you have to put it on manual focus , which you can't really see through the viewfinder, but I was impressed I got at least this after only  a couple shots.

But yes, I'm lame.  tears were shed. There's nothing like the magic of aurora boreal!

A great many tears shed

Even in three days, this experience is just, it's so much more than I could ever dream of.  My biggest fear, having issues with a group dynamic or having conflicting personalities with people, has quickly disappeared.  Any of my sheepishness and insecurities, here, they have melted away.  Our group energy is so positive, and it makes me so happy to feel this comfort with these people so quickly, so I couldn't be any more appreciative since I have been in the situation where I had a great opportunity and a negative group dynamic ruined a lot of the experience.  I'm sure there will be times where I don't feel so hot about some people, but I think, generally, we are all very considerate people and will work very well together.

 I also saw the Northern Lights. Cried.  'nuff said.

It was only the tip of the iceberg too. It was just plain incredible.

haha, we're talking about piercings right now, laughing, as usual.  I don't think anyone here feels left out either.  Except for our frenchies who might not understand everything sometimes, but there's a lot of translating between us, and I really think we're learning a lot!  I honestly never realized how much we could learn from living in groups.  I never thought I'd actually love it!  For example, who would think they'd learn that jam and ham sandwiches actually taste good? 

Someone noticed my yoga poster in the basement too!  Since everyone is open to try everything here, when a few people expressed interest, I brought the poster up and started some piercings, then nearly half of us started trying some poses, the rest watching.  

I haven't even mentioned the three times I got to go outside today!  Walking with 5 dogs following, meanwhile playing fetch with snowballs, making snow angels on my own, running around like a fool with the rest of my the group, tripping in the snow, followed by a show of the most glorious thing I have ever experienced in my life. I actually cried at the sight of the Northern lights.  While we were outside, a man actually came to speak to us, and he mentioned a part of their history which shook us quite a bit once we learned more.  Some of the  realities we were presented with about this community, and native communities in general were pretty hard to take, but I'm not here to be coddled like we were in high school.  What was even more surprising was that he brought it up in the first place, becausewe've been told  that most people here don't really talk about it.  This man was pretty funny and I'm really glad we ran into him- it made the day feel more complete, having a tiny taste of the Chisasibi culture from someone who lives it.  While we were outside, one man even yelled out the window of his van "Welcome to Chisasibi!"

(it's actually pronounced Chi-Saa-See-Bee (emphasis on the "sa" unlike how I was pronouncing it prior to my arrival)  

I'm at a loss for words today. I've already learned so much and I can't even imagine what this beautiful community, incredible group of people and amazing program will bring.  

Sorry to disappoint, but I don't miss anyone from home (maybe just chocolate.) Also, if you'd like to send me something, well, just don't bother until I'm in Manitoba. Haha, it'll probably take two months since it's so isolated here... so email me :)  Or suggest a Skype date! (Or at least express interest and I'll message you back with a possible time.)  I have 4 "slots" of free time a week, so I'll try to spend it wisely (especially since I still have two projects :S)

Finally United- My new family :)

L to R : Julie, Yvonne, Francois, Briana, Nick, Olivia, Stacey (moi!), Michael, Mike, Chris (PL), Brooke

Day 2 in Katima-Land

Day 2 of my adventure...


The whole group was united today, with two more arriving on the plane from Northern Saskatchewan and Edmonton.  It really felt like a family gathering-type thing- the whole group went to pick them up and we made a welcome sign with their names and explained any new things we learned the very first day.


Our leaders also waited to do any of our orientation until today so really, today was Day one and yesterday was our day to chill. 


I just can't believe how lucky we are.  I actually feel like I'm getting along with everyone in my group, and I have a feeling we won't have problems with people volunteering to do things, take responsibilities and make group living worthwhile. 


I also didn't previously realize how many sources of learning there really are in Katimavik.  I'll have to update my Katimavik description because, there's SO much to it.  Seriously!
All together, I think what Katimavik really stands for is Responsible Living.
here's a list to start:

• Group living:
• Living in a house with 11 or 12 students and one leader has it's difficulties- managing shower times, food, bathroom usage ect.
• Cooking:
• Every week, there are 2 students called "House Mates" that are in charge of cleaning the house, cooking and some of the laundry
• Language: Cree (community), French (housemates), English (everywhere)
• Their goal is to make as many of us as functionally biligual as possible. So today, there are 4 of us that consider ourselves bilingual or almost biligual, one that speaks less English than most and 4 that say they can't speak any French. So our aim is to make the rest of us bilingual.
• Culture:
• Living with students from around thr country offers perspectives from around the country and immerses students in both languages
• Work:
• Volunteer work experience can offer more competencies, of course
• Civic Engagement
• It not only gets us volunteering in this community, but inspires us how to get involved in our own communities and we'll learn how to find places to volunteer as well
• Environmental Habits
• Katimavik was originally, really a program purely for hippies, so it incorporates themes from that, but it's far more structured now including the same environmental living aspects in more useful, efficient manners, teaching us how we can use these habits in our everyday lives.
• Responsibility
• Everyone has tasks we have to do to live in harmony. There's just no other way- we all have to pull our weight.
• Frugal Spending
• Especially in a community where food costs THREE TIMES more than anywhere else, we need to learn to spend efficiently and responsibly.
• Time Management
• We only get so much free time to do things, and learning to cook, clean etc, for a family of 11 or 12 may require some time management as well.
• Social Skills
• We're thrown into a social environment that is comfortable, but likely far from anyone's usual comfort-zones back at home. You befriend the people you would never consider being friends with, and you learn to get along with everyone
• General Life skills
• Dealing with homesickness
• building a tolerance, really to homesickness.  I'm starting to think that 6 months isn't very long at all!
• Becoming an Individual
• living in a group home, you become comfortable with the people fairly quickly, having the knowledge that you will be with those people for  half a year!  After that, it becomes easier to be yourself around others (I've heard)
• Character building
• Healthy active living
• General all-around Experience
• Its friggin fun... and you will get some experience that will more than likely help you reach a conclusion as to what you want to do in life/what you want to gain from experiences.

We're told that Katimavik volunteers are less here for the community than the actual community is there for us.  We can offer volunteer help, cultural experience for them and shared learning, but more than anything, it's us that will gain a whole new world of knowledge.

So that's all the boring stuff, me trying to get you to do Katimavik if you can, or at least be fond if it! ( I can't see any reason not to be, it's a ridiculously incredible program.)  Like I said, it's not only the peace love and harmony-type thing it was when it started (thats not to say that it wasn't great but now its just... well words can't explain.)

As for my personal experience thus far? I can only see good things. My group, for example. This was really my biggest fear: to be stuck in a group of crabby teens that don't get along or are rather inconsiderate.  That's not at all the case here. We had a true group meal today, where there weren't really any side conversations, just a legitimate GROUP dinner.  And our whole group gets along really well- I've even found some things in common with a few people here already! Like photography :) 

Also, the community is just... it can't be any better.  People are really friendly here, I shared a smile with a man at the airport. I said hello and he smiled, his one-toothed smile and said "Happy New Year" and laughed.  Anywhere else, i might have been intimidated, but here, I was honoured to share such a moment with a local because it was so sweet and genuine.

Later, we were getting ready for dinner and the doorbell rang.  I answered the door to a little girl wearing a pink spongebob hat.  Here, most people speak cree or English, and some French (there's even a small inuit population!)  So I said "Hello, Bonjour"  Immediately, she replied "I don't speak French."  She said it as if I should know, but it was cute :)  So I asked her what she would like (figuring, maybe she was fundraising for something) and she asked if she could come in.  I guess to play?  Apparently it's not uncommon for the kids to come and ask if we want to play.  I guess there's no space for shyness here!

I was also impressed with the house! It's so spacious! I was expecting crammyness to be honest.  Did I mention the language aspect?  My conversations with some switch constantly from French to English and back.  And we happen to have a PLO (Project leader officer) that is with us for 5 days (even though theyre normally only here for one because they look after a few groups) Denis is his name, he's hilarious! "I'm like a shooting star," he said. that pretty much describes him to a tee.  Our project leader, Chris speaks french, english and Newfaneese. He certainly has his funny moments, but right now, I think he's just playing the 'i gotta lay down the law' type guy.  He a git-er-done kind of guy, so if there's a problem, he'll do what he can to fix it immediately, which is so great! I'm really thankful for that.

So not only am I getting this incredible katima-experience, but I'm getting the Chisasibi experience, which is like no other. If I picked a community anywhere in Canada, from what I know so far, I'd pick here.
Eventually I'll make a list of great things about Chisasibi and not-so-great ones (which will be greatly outnumbered)

Peace and love all! (and please comment!)

First Day of Katimavik!

So, I was expecting an amazing experience, and, you know, it might actually be better than I was expecting (if that's even possible)  The hardships, now, seem incredibly minimal to the endless benefits of this program.


I was forewarned about the wild dogs here prior to my arrival, so I expected to see maybe a few, but it's crazier than I thought to be honest. They're wild, so they can carry diseases and what-not, so we're warned not to get too close with them.  Unfortunately, they're more social than I thought.


We walked about one block (maybe two?) and we saw three of them!  One was a little more rambunctious, one a little timid and the other might still be on our porch at this very moment. They respect humans, I pet their noses :)  They really are fun to have around, but I can only imagine that they can cause a lot of issues.


I'm in for a fantastic experience, I can guarantee it. I've only heard fantastic things about Chisasibi,  the people, the community and the culture.  It's so beautiful too.  Oh and if you plan on visiting, you can't drive. You just can't...  There are roads in Chisasibi as well, and when our project leader says it's the end of the road, he really means the end of the road, he means, anymore north and there are no more roads.

I can't wait to get to know some of the Cree culture here and meet some people in the community!

I haven't even mentioned my group!  There are 8 of us, since two had their flights delayed, so it was pretty relaxed today. The majority here speak English, but there are a few that speak French, so we try to switch between the two.  Even so far, I've learned a few words I forgot about, or didn't know, like cache-cou is a neckwarmer.  That was a great moment with Francois, since neither of us knew the word in the other language.  Shared learning FTW!

I feel strange being so anti social, pretty much in the middle of a card game haha!
My posts might get a little more Scatterbrained, or at least shortened since there will be so much going on around me all the time. (Just a forewarning, unless I learn to not get distracted which would be a huge plus!)

Oh and I made a goal for myself.  I tend to not speak up for myself when it comes to something that might make me a little uncomfortable (I always say I can deal with it)  but the only reason I don't speak up is because it's so meek of me. I don't even know what I'm afraid of, I guess I don't like putting other people to any trouble just for me.
But yes, my goal is to rid myself of that fear, and when I want something, I needn't be afraid to speak up.  In a group home of 11, I can't see learning that skill becoming an issue- it'll probably  come naturally.

PS, I dont think I'll be able to post pictures :(  unless special circumstances occur since our broadband is limited and it's really slow. (so far 6/8 of us have laptops)

Bussin' it to Montreal!

So, I thought it was more peaceful when everyone was asleep, and I sat, just staring at the drooling faces of all kinds of strangers around me!

Now I sit here, with heavy eyes, typin' away while I switch my eyes from the screen to the keyboard, the the creeper watching my bus partner/ fellow Katimavictim's [SUCH a big fan of this term hahaha] :)  laptop

** wishes I could convieniently put a little emoticon  with the thumbs up here for meeting my first fellow Katima-victim!
But, I'm definitely a fan of the quiet on the bus when all you see around you are the drooling faces of strangers for a moment, until you look back down at the book/laptop/whatever you're entertaining yourself. then, after a while, maybe you can even be one of those drooling faces!  It's actually pretty sweet!  No stress, it's like a moment where you can actually do absoloutely nothing at all, stare into space, and feel okay with it- because you're on a bus! (I feel like maybe I should write a song to the tune of "Im on a boat")

I'm really enjoying the whole blogging thing too.  I think I'll keep with it for a while, it makes me feel interesting.  It'd be nice to know that my posts are being read though!  I can see pageviews at least, whcih are a whopping... 9 since I started. Oh well...

oh and if these blogs are confusing because it is lacking the good ol' period, it's because it doesn't always work on this keyboard. Just warning you that I didn't suddenly lose my ability to use proper grammar on my way to Katima-world.

I have a feeling, for the next 6 months, everything will become prefixed with Katima- :D

Last day... %*$&^$@)

Mom, I drank some coffee, okay?  I'm irritable and moody- I can be irrational!
Well, maybe there's more to it.


I arrive at school. Late. (oops, I didn't realize it was that late...)  Awkwardly, since I didn't feel welcome, thinking I would be leaving to do my exam elsewhere.  So I sit down, hesitantly, anticipating the end of that first exam. But no. I must sit through a lesson first he says.  Jittery at this point, I could only feel the pressure in my head rising.  great...double cramming.  Thanks...  I must've been tired because I felt my eyes water as I tried to control my frustration as I took notes and listened to him speaking.


"Do I need to know this for the exam?" I hear myself asking.
 "No."


Thank Goodness... The pressure was still there though.


Exam One, done in no time.  Then, I go to the library,  return my pile of only half read books, see some friends and decide to get another coffee before the caf fills up.  COFFEEE!  (I only drink it on select days so when I do, I really feel it.) I don't normally drink a large either.


Then, I bring a gift to someone, once a stranger, that helped buy a very vital tool for only the greatest hobby ever: Photography.  I got my camera, my baby, my love, Zara because of his help.


Bill Green is this man


"It's never too late to say thank you," Mom says.
Well, to him I say, I can't thank you more, sir. And that gratitude will remain.


Next destination: Exam #2.
My teacher had to teach a class first, so at lunch, when I came to see her, she gave me guidelines for what to study and sent me to the library.
"Wow best studying I've ever done."
I was ready. Ready to be done with high school, ready to get home, get packin' and be off.  Then, anyway.


The exams were the easy part.  So was shopping for a jacket, pretty much the last possible minute. I lucked out too... the jacket I bought from Sportcheck is WARM, and was half off $300 and I decided not to get a sleeping bag.  I don't know how I would've accomplished all that without Jesse, what a beautiful girl she is (not just physically of course.) and my sister, the smartypants that knows the right questions to ask.  The number in my bank was pretty than I expected  as well, since I just got paid.  Oh, and I got marks back from projects, all exceeding way beyond my expectations. Bliss!


So, I made the mistake of leaving everything to last minute. Mom says "I told you so." Little did I know, she was feeling as much stress as I was (I didn't even know I was stressed- I just thought it was coffee crashing.) Also, I don't think running around going WHERE IS MY PACKING LIST, COMPUTER START WORKING! MOM CAN YOU DEAL WITH THIS helped either.
Then Hollie put her cellphone down and stood in front of me, halo shining over her head. After goofing around and realizing that wasn't going to work, she realized I just needed a good cry.
*barometer of Stacey's head decreases. I've never appreciated rain more.


As I'm feeling better, Mom doesn't and finds something small to blow up. An argument, with yelling, crying and emotion starts and I stay silent.  Even then, I felt better.  Not Mom though. Poor Mom.  I probably should have told her then that I loved her. That I do, and always will.


Advice to other future Katima-victims (term stolen from my friend in Katimavik, Luke but I think I saw it somewhere else...)
Buy your stuff, do your packing as early as you can.  You'll feel excited. Then you'll feel little. After that, without realizing it, you'll feel some stress and having too much to do last minute won't ease that feeling.


Well, maybe coffee had something to do with it...
But, it's an emotional thing, leaving your family and friends for half a year. You can be the most empathetic person in the world, but you'll never know what it truly feels like until you're standing in those hundred-dollar-boots you'll never where anywhere near your hometown, yourself.


2:35 AM... Who needs sleep?

PHOTO update- what!?!?!

So I just realized that all the photos I post on this blog will come up in the Picasa PhotoAlbum I created!


Here's the link again, and I think I'll make a page SOLELY for photos (and likely, maybe, eventually ditch my tumblr account.(which is www.staceyspeers.tumblr.com btw)

http://picasaweb.google.com/stacey.speers/StaceySBlog?authkey=Gv1sRgCNCGlJ6StqmcVw#

Chisasibiiiii!

So, the other day, I actually emailed the editor of the local Chisasibi Newspaper called  the Waaskimaashtaau, a Cree word, meaning a very bright light from the sun. 


The website says that they encourage people to submit, so I told him who I was, what I do (writing editorials for the mercury as well as taking photographs being one of my primary hobbies.)  He informed me that his sister has a home in Guelph!  Small world eh?


I was just looking at some pictures of something, I think I googled the northern lights and a picture from Chisasibi appeared. So I found Jimmy Sam, labelled as a "Cree photographer", who lives guess where... it'd be cool to meet him and learn some tricks!  But I might just be dreaming... Gosh, I love photography so much, maybe I should teach photography in a college or something instead of French to little children. I could probably do both actually. We'll see.


So anyway, I wanted to post some of his pictures because they're gorgeous and I really want to take pictures like this!

 This could be by me some day...  If I get really lucky that is...

 I don't know if I could pull this one off...

 Unbelievable...

And Dad, This one's for you!  I heard there's some really great fishing and hunting in Chisasibi. Which is partially what makes it so authentic I'm assuming.

PICTURES. :D

So, I'm figuring out how to upload pics to the internet so I won't have to access this computer all the time for photos and I put some on Picasa web albums :D  


There are a lot of doubles (sometimes I resize photos and save them more than once, so I'm trying to figure out how to get ride of the doubles... bear with me on this one, but I'd rather not spend my time on such details.)
Here's the link: http://picasaweb.google.com/stacey.speers/StaceySBlog?authkey=Gv1sRgCNCGlJ6StqmcVw#

Seeds, they grow, and they blossom. One day anyway...

So it's 2011, and I figured I should come up with some reflections on 2010 and goals/resolutions for this year. 

Some questions I figure might be important to reflect on (for myself and I'd like to hear from others as well :) just to get you started on some reflecting)

1. What happened this year? If I could give it a title, what would it be?
2. What are some new friends I've made?
3. What are some new things I've discovered about myself?
4. How do I feel I've developed or changed as a person this year?
5. When did I feel most comfortable?
6. What/Who will I miss most?
7. What accomplishments am I most proud of?
8. What am I choosing to let go of to make next year different?
9. What inspiration is going to keep me motivated for 2011?
10. How do I think I'm going to change in the next year, or what do I need to change?

(Pardon me, if this becomes a long post...)

I could probably give this passing year a name once I reflect more on what happened and how things have panned out.
So this year, I finished high school in June, and continued in Sept., went to Summer school, got a third dog, saw my grandfather marry again, as well as my cousin, and two friends.  I got my assistant black belt in Tae Kwon Do, improved my photography knowledge and skills a great deal, got some writing experience by getting published in the paper and in a book for a short story as well. Photography experience and knowledge from a wedding, a class, a friend (Shawn), camp, and winning the second contest!  I developed closer relationships with some friends, mostly the same as last year.  I've had more relationships (3) than ever in my life, each one enhancing my knowledge of myself in one way or another- which might mean that maybe I can just roll on my own now, discovering these things without intimacy. I've also developed closer relationships with my family (especially my brother, who, I've discovered, has a similar sense of humour)

I suppose this year has really just been a continuation of last year for me.  I took everything I started last year at least one step further. Like journalism, for example. I did a co-op in 2009, and took part in the Community Editorial Board this year.  In Tae Kwon Do, which I started last year, I got my black belt, and I started to become a lot closer with some of the people I made friends with in gr. 11, that I got even closer with last year and now, I feel I know many of them very well :) I also started photography in 2008 when I went to Europe, then in 2009 when I got the Lumix G1 Camera and even more so this year with my canon T1i SLR!

Things I've accomplished, hmm... well, doing well in school, for one.  I maintained the 85 average I want and am taking it even higher this semester (hopefully, if I don't screw up now!) I also have a better idea of what I really like doing: teaching (from Tae Kwon Do and camp), writing/sharing experiences and photography: my favourite hobby!  Which will help me pursue a career of which I will feel passionate about, really enjoy and feel fufilled!

One thing I miss, though, is being outside more, and I think living in a native community for three months and volunteering for 6 might just help that one!  If that doesn't help, at least I'll feel better fufilled from volunteering!

Things I want to do less:
-Get distracted
-Bite my nails
-Go on Facebook only to creep
-Procrastination of projects
-complain

Things  I want to do more:
-yoga
-read
-write: trying new things, creative things
-plan
-fitness/eat healthier

2. What are some new friends I've made?
  Camp people, Shawn (who I met last year, New Year's Eve!) Anastasia and friends, people from McDonald's and I think that's it.

3. What are some new things I've discovered about myself?
    Well, I know better what I want from someone in a relationship for one.  Balance is probably the biggest thing.  And what I want in life.  I feel like everything is more clear and organized in my mind, and I've developed some things I feel passionate about. 
    I've also learned that one of my biggest fears is being stuck in a group of people where I don't feel I belong, I'm not pulling my weight, or I just don't fit in or click with anyone.  I've found that I tend to make friends with people who are less selfish, because I tend to befriend the people that will listen to me.  I will welcome any new face with open arms, so long as they are interested in what I have to say. Maybe it's a little selfish, but I do really appreciate admiration, which is why I like teaching so much.  Because I can earn the respect of another and see their improvement in whatever the field.  I feel more satisfied, they feel more satisfied and we can share something together.  It's very profound to me.
    I can also sometimes get very hormonal and can only control my temper if I'm around people and don't want them to see me the way I really feel. Even then I find it difficult. I think before, I just didn't recognize when I was hormonal- I just figured whatever was triggering me was the issue.
    Often, I'd just rather not care about my healthy habits.  It's so much more convenient, and I'm more down-to-earth because I'm on the same level as everyone around me. I guess I just need to immerse myself in the right atmosphere.
 
4. How do I feel I've developed or changed as a person this year?
   I know what I want more than anything.

5. When did I feel most comfortable?
   At camp, when I felt settled.  The campers apprecitated my efforts and so did the camp.  I nearly cried when they offered me a "raising the bar"  because in the beginning, my confidence was so low, but apparently being a caring person makes the world of a difference.
  But also, just before camp, when I was dating Justin and I was feeling really comfortable at home, finally.  Getting along with my parents and laughing more with my brother, seeing my sister more.  I honestly pictured myself with Justin a really long time too. And then it just faded I guess.  Although, I've never felt more confident than when I was mature enough to realize that it wasn't going to work and ended it right then and there.

6. What/Who will I miss most?
    Mom. coming home to dogs that rush to the door, begging me for my affection, home.

8. What am I choosing to let go of to make next year different?
   Everything that feels farmiliar. Everything that makes me feel comfortable.

9. What inspiration is going to keep me motivated for 2011?
   Adventure, peace and looking forward to every day being miles from my ordinary life
.
10. How do I think I'm going to change in the next year, or what do I need to change?
Improvements...
Hmm. Well, I think I'll be more mature in that I will be more self-sufficient.  I'll make new friends that I will likely depend on to make me feel happy or sad, but it's going to be hard at first. I'm going to be in a foreign place, with foreign people, surrounded by foreign culture, language and everything imaginable. But with everything being so foreign, I'm going to learn to adapt really quickly, and let go of my fear of not fitting in or feeling a part of something. 
Hopefully, I'll learn to be more responsible.  I'll be looking after myself and I'll learn more of the home-ey duties as I started to this year. 
And I'm sure I'll discover new interests while I'm away.

Who knows-maybe I'll develop a new love for collecting pet rocks!

So all together, I suppose I could call this year the year the seeds began to grow.  Last year, I started some things, planted seeds and now I'm growing up, with the help of a great family support system and nutrient-rich soil and perhaps the year I decide to bloom will come soon enough!
Ooo. Maybe I should think about a seed as my next tattoo...sounds ugly right now, but it probably won't be another year until that idea develops into something more!

As for 2011, I thought about making a specific resolution, but, since I'm an ambitious person, I know that there's always room for improvement, so I'll just leave it at that.  Nothing too specific, just improvements everywhere I'm lacking.

So cheers to 2011!