Last day... %*$&^$@)

Mom, I drank some coffee, okay?  I'm irritable and moody- I can be irrational!
Well, maybe there's more to it.


I arrive at school. Late. (oops, I didn't realize it was that late...)  Awkwardly, since I didn't feel welcome, thinking I would be leaving to do my exam elsewhere.  So I sit down, hesitantly, anticipating the end of that first exam. But no. I must sit through a lesson first he says.  Jittery at this point, I could only feel the pressure in my head rising.  great...double cramming.  Thanks...  I must've been tired because I felt my eyes water as I tried to control my frustration as I took notes and listened to him speaking.


"Do I need to know this for the exam?" I hear myself asking.
 "No."


Thank Goodness... The pressure was still there though.


Exam One, done in no time.  Then, I go to the library,  return my pile of only half read books, see some friends and decide to get another coffee before the caf fills up.  COFFEEE!  (I only drink it on select days so when I do, I really feel it.) I don't normally drink a large either.


Then, I bring a gift to someone, once a stranger, that helped buy a very vital tool for only the greatest hobby ever: Photography.  I got my camera, my baby, my love, Zara because of his help.


Bill Green is this man


"It's never too late to say thank you," Mom says.
Well, to him I say, I can't thank you more, sir. And that gratitude will remain.


Next destination: Exam #2.
My teacher had to teach a class first, so at lunch, when I came to see her, she gave me guidelines for what to study and sent me to the library.
"Wow best studying I've ever done."
I was ready. Ready to be done with high school, ready to get home, get packin' and be off.  Then, anyway.


The exams were the easy part.  So was shopping for a jacket, pretty much the last possible minute. I lucked out too... the jacket I bought from Sportcheck is WARM, and was half off $300 and I decided not to get a sleeping bag.  I don't know how I would've accomplished all that without Jesse, what a beautiful girl she is (not just physically of course.) and my sister, the smartypants that knows the right questions to ask.  The number in my bank was pretty than I expected  as well, since I just got paid.  Oh, and I got marks back from projects, all exceeding way beyond my expectations. Bliss!


So, I made the mistake of leaving everything to last minute. Mom says "I told you so." Little did I know, she was feeling as much stress as I was (I didn't even know I was stressed- I just thought it was coffee crashing.) Also, I don't think running around going WHERE IS MY PACKING LIST, COMPUTER START WORKING! MOM CAN YOU DEAL WITH THIS helped either.
Then Hollie put her cellphone down and stood in front of me, halo shining over her head. After goofing around and realizing that wasn't going to work, she realized I just needed a good cry.
*barometer of Stacey's head decreases. I've never appreciated rain more.


As I'm feeling better, Mom doesn't and finds something small to blow up. An argument, with yelling, crying and emotion starts and I stay silent.  Even then, I felt better.  Not Mom though. Poor Mom.  I probably should have told her then that I loved her. That I do, and always will.


Advice to other future Katima-victims (term stolen from my friend in Katimavik, Luke but I think I saw it somewhere else...)
Buy your stuff, do your packing as early as you can.  You'll feel excited. Then you'll feel little. After that, without realizing it, you'll feel some stress and having too much to do last minute won't ease that feeling.


Well, maybe coffee had something to do with it...
But, it's an emotional thing, leaving your family and friends for half a year. You can be the most empathetic person in the world, but you'll never know what it truly feels like until you're standing in those hundred-dollar-boots you'll never where anywhere near your hometown, yourself.


2:35 AM... Who needs sleep?