Well I wouldn't say my life has always been simple or streamlined in one direction, but I have been very fortunate with every step.
I followed a young man to Winnipeg 5 years ago, pursued a college diploma, took a personal leave to learn to trust myself, completed massage therapy college and, now, I followed another young man to a place where I started my own business. Accomodations aren't luxurious, buy I have what I need. He and I know I am leaving in the fall without looking back, which has been an interesting slightly tumultuous journey in itself.
A little orange cat named Rue is on my table, purring, looking into my eyes with her amber eyes. I'm not sure what they mean to tell me, but I Pat her once and push her off the table. "I love you too, Rue, but I'll pet you on the couch."
A girl came to my door a few days ago, with a plate full of food for me, and dark eyes with a certain sparkle full of life, asking me to join her and her family for a bonfire. "I will, but not today. I need to write."
"I'll miss you when you go," her little sister said to me about leaving for a week soon. "You'll be so busy," I said, "you won't even know I'm gone."
I have gone on a few mini adventures with these two sweet children, showing them some little things I've learned about being wild and free on the land, and we've shared a lot.
They're from Egypt and they tell me all about their culture, language and perhaps someday I will go when they go too!
The other day I called a friend and lost signal,so I drove up the road until I got signal and stopped where it was far too steep. My little hatchback was on the verge of rolling, so I called a friend- the manager at the resort here, who maintains humility, while he has a pretty good handle on things around here. Nearly every car - I counted 5- stopped on the highway to make sure I was alright. I was embarrassed, but it feels good to be cared for. Of course I was towed out, three wheels on the ground and I know not to pull over in thick grass (where it doesn't look that steep...)
It's not so bad, living by the lake where the mosquitoes are not so few, the water is cloudy, the boats are near and the fish are plenty. I happily lend a hand when I can, give a sense of comfort for a moment, and I receive much more. There have been many storms to witness this year, several days without hydro, but the people are not without power. I am thankful for every part if the experience, as they allow me to collect the pieces to create my own life story.
This particular trip to the Whiteshell has given me a diverse perspective on how I have developed interpersonally and how far I have to go. My mind and body tire as I have not been nurturing myself well on a physical level for at least a year, but spiritually I feel so full if light by the children, the animals, a sense of community and doing work that feels fulfilling. Business is good, but not too busy and for now,I have little to lose monetarily, at least.
I am happy with my situation, excited about the future - challenges included - and I am continuing to find a sense of wonder in what I pursue.
I believe this part of the journey is about connecting my trust of self with community integration and family living, as well as learning to be more comfortable with impermanence.
One day I am sure I will settle somewhere - but nothing is forever. For now, I am happy with learning to create a fulfilling life for myself in every new place I come to. Adapting...
Soon I will perhaps raconte pieces of an experience of ayahuasca on a land I have come to really appreciate and grow on. However, as this particular journey is a very personal, sacred one, I may leave out many details that would incomprehensible outside my brain.
Every day is an education. Every moment is a teachable opportunity. Every lesson is not only for the student, but for the teacher too.
There is always a journey ahead.
