Working with Envision at the MPRC :)

So I've mentioned before that I feel there's a lot I can learn from people with disabilities.

But also, I feel it important to mention how much confidence it gives me as well. Coming back to the MPRC after two weeks of being on the farm was really quite refreshing.  "It feels like you've been gone for a month!" one girl said.  It really made me feel like my presence makes a difference, which is really nice.

Also, I asked if I could work with Lila (I'm changing her name here for safe sakes...)  Often when I sit beside Lila, people tell me to be careful, since she can sometimes be a little unpredictable, she likes to squeeze and sometimes even bite.  It has actually happened where she bit me, but that was a time when it honestly had nothing to do with me. She just didn't want to leave!  And it wasn't bad anyway. Another day, I sat between her and another participant at the MPRC and she knocked me with her head while the other woman pulled my hair.  I could only really laugh even if it hurt, they weren't angry or intentionally hurting me so I didn't get frustrated.

So back to Lila. She usually likes to sit on the couch and read her Sears catalogues. She doesn't usually say much, but when you spend one-on-one time with her, sometimes you can get her to talk.  She has begun to take a liking to holding my hand and sometimes she puts it on her back as if to say "can you rub my back?"  This week, though, she was a lot more gentle with me.  Progress?  And she always acknowledges me when I sit beside her.

Tuesday, I made a dream catcher with her, and she loved it!  She has a native background so anything to do with native crafts, she just loves!  She was smiling the whole time we were making it and at one point I said "Lila, do you like this?" She put on a huge grin, and clapped.  A few moment later, she put her arm around me ever-so-gently and put her head on my shoulder.  I couldn't help but to smile and hug her back.  Later, I was eating with her and in the middle of eating her food, she screamed "Good Day!"

When you get a response like this, especially from someone who doesn't normally say much, it's so rewarding.  My job is to make her day better and I felt like I did just that and more with such an enthusiastic response.

:)

Changing Hands

It's spring!  And the while the trees filled out with leaves and life in the mere two weeks I spent at the Northern Sun Coop farm, so did my brain, with so much knowledge!

Now why in the world have I not posted in a few weeks, you ask?

Well, I've been spending my life in the moment, experiencing all the best things that "come when least expected", according to Sam- Dawn's 18-year-old son whom I've taken a liking to.  This much has become really important to me recently.

I thought about learning about organic farming at some point- I can't remember quite when.  And now, I realize that farming may very well be a big part of my life some day.
Back at the farm, Mitch spoke a lot about money, and how he often feels it's an unfair trade for so many things.  He'd rather give his time, his work, he says.  In fact, I think more often than anything, Mitch would more than likely prefer to find or make whatever it is he needs for himself- to satisfy his human need, not only to destroy, but to create as well.

I don't see everything exactly like Mitch does- he has a very unique perspective on many things in life, which I really appreciated when weeding with him, but I do remember that at a comparatively young age for most, I realized that money was not most important to me.  I knew that I did not want to be filthy rich, or live in a large house or drive a stupidly fancy car.  I specifically remember sitting on my futon bed in the wall-less, cold room of my basement, writing in my journal about having the desire to live "simply," feeling frustrated about the stupid girls on Jerry Springer and my sister's friends that were experiencing so much needless drama.  And why do we suffer, you ask?  Because we're greedy.  It's that simple, I think.

I took a look at my hands after being on the coop and I noticed something different about them.   The sunlight has allowed me to see the scars better, and somehow, they just move differently.  They weren't dirty- that's a temporary change that I also appreciate.  The change was more permanent than that though.  In just two weeks, they had somehow become woman's hands rather than a child's.  They felt more capable than ever, more human, and somehow more feminine.
I believe that they were nurtured to health, despite a long time of those nutrients lacking.  Not only that, but, since working on the coop farm, somehow, I have never appreciated my hands more.

It hasn't been completely sudden though.  In fact, I noticed their developing in Chisasibi.  I stopped biting my nails then and I saw change in more that I could touch.  Back then, though, it seemed more metaphorical than anything, but I'm starting to see the physical changes now- the manurisms, and my abilities- more confident than ever.

I made so many friends at the Northern Sun Farm. In fact, I'd call all the people that live there my friends, even if I saw some more than others.

A few times, I experienced deja vu, or deja view.  I'm not positive what this means, but it felt like I was really meant to be there.  In fact, for the first time in my life, I'd say, I felt like I really, truly belonged.  I got to have a little brother to beat up for the first time!  Being the youngest, and a very caring person, this is exciting news for me!  I also made some really good friends, some around my age, some a little older. I spent a lot of the time I wasn't working with the boys- Mitchell (the WWOOFer), Sam, Orion and Noble.  It often felt as though I'd known them for years!

I have so much respect for everyone that lives on the coop farm, for each and every person seems to have that quality I respect most: the ability to think independently.  Some deserve some honourable mentions though.  I hope they don't mind me talking about them in my blog...

Dawn- such a strong woman, who's strength I admire and always appreciated.  She never ceases to amaze me with the things she does!
Mitch- He's Dawn's partner, and so, incredibly wise for his age.  Yet he still manages to find pure enjoyment in the things he does. He's a man that's not afraid to be bold.  I really appreciated his openness, and the knowledge he shared.
Gairhardt- "The only rule we must live by is the golden rule."  Gairhardt is pretty well one of the founders of the Northern Sun Farm and his wisdom is always appreciated.  I got to work with Gairhardt a little bit on the solar oven and couldn't have been happier to do so.  I admired his laid-back style and creative ways of working on projects, often in the seemingly most unconventional ways.
Candice- A beautiful, beaming soul I loved and felt comfortable with from the very beginning.  She's so full of energy, I feel like she could always being light to a dark day.
Kathryn- Oh what a beautiful soul she has.  I loved this woman from the moment I met her, even if she intimidated me somehow.  Now, she just makes me feel so calm.  Kathryn is full of the interesting experiences I have soon to face and just such a kind, gentle soul.
David D.- Even though you question me all the time, you do it in a way that makes me think, and you share your knowledge, which I always appreciate.  Such a kind man, who does so much for others without ever expecting anything in return.
Tim- Yoga Master.  I wish I knew more about you, but you seem to have a great passion for the yoga spirit, which I can really appreciate in a person.
Dan- Dan, oh Dan, I didn't get to spend much time with you, but you have this incredible ability of commanding all attention and making everyone in the room feel good about themselves.
Jen- You are so full of interesting perspectives, you could keep me listening to your theories for hours.  Crazy, maybe?  But awesome more than anything :)

Anyway, I need some ZZZs! This post has been waiting a long time, and I've done a lot of thinking, and I don't even think that it has captured half of what I'd like to express.  If you ask me the right questions, though, I'm sure I could tell you more!

Enjoy some pictures soonish... if I can find time later! (Too slow today, and I'm too tired.)

;)

Another Incredible Adventure!

So the Coop Farm is my billet placement...

Amazing eh?  I'm so excited!  A little intimidated, yes.  But that only adds to the excitement.  This will be an awesome experience that I'll carry with me forever.

Mom, it's okay, I'm going to hang out with some super-cool and legitimate hippies and I'm going to come home safe and sound.  Maybe I'll want to change things a little, but I promise it'll be for the better.

Always progressing for the better.

Warning: I may not be on the computer for 2 weeks!

Discomfort is healthy.

Last night, we had our Mid Rotation Reflection with our PLC Adim and we realized that one thing our group needs to work on as a whole is Open-Mindedness.  As a what he called "Teddy Bear type of personality", I don't think this is on the top of my list of things to improve since I usually blame myself for everything, but it was a really good discussion.

I finally expressed something to the group that I think is really important though.

The fact that feeling discomfort is a really healthy thing.

People will sit you down in their home and say "make yourself comfortable."  We always want to feel safe on our nice little comfortable bubble, but if we're so comfortable all the time, we're not going to learn anything new.
Sometimes, putting yourself in uncomfortable situations is the best way to learn something new about yourself.  in fact, when you feel uncomfortable and you make yourself more comfortable in the end, you learn to better adapt to new situations in general.  Sure you'll feel insecure for a little while, but you'll fear less and know more.

That is also being open-minded and opening up to new experiences.  That, my friends, is what Katimavik is all about: discomfort.

It's a beautiful thing.

Oh yes and good news!  I'll be billeting for two weeks at the Northern Sun Coop farm! (I'm living there.  And I'm the only Katimavictim in my group to get that opportunity!)  So I'll be living with Dawn and Mitch, and I might be rooming with someone who's coming to the farm with the WWOOF program!  (Which is the one I might just participate in!)
Oh yeah, and Troy Bridgeman from the Mercury has been trying to contact me for a week now (which is apparently really hard to do since we haven't been home much)  because I was selected as one of the Top 40 Under 40.
I guess I'm just following Hollie's footsteps eh?  (She was recognized for Top 20 Under 20!)