So it's 2011, and I figured I should come up with some reflections on 2010 and goals/resolutions for this year.
Some questions I figure might be important to reflect on (for myself and I'd like to hear from others as well :) just to get you started on some reflecting)
1. What happened this year? If I could give it a title, what would it be?
2. What are some new friends I've made?
3. What are some new things I've discovered about myself?
4. How do I feel I've developed or changed as a person this year?
5. When did I feel most comfortable?
6. What/Who will I miss most?
7. What accomplishments am I most proud of?
8. What am I choosing to let go of to make next year different?
9. What inspiration is going to keep me motivated for 2011?
10. How do I think I'm going to change in the next year, or what do I need to change?
(Pardon me, if this becomes a long post...)
I could probably give this passing year a name once I reflect more on what happened and how things have panned out.
So this year, I finished high school in June, and continued in Sept., went to Summer school, got a third dog, saw my grandfather marry again, as well as my cousin, and two friends. I got my assistant black belt in Tae Kwon Do, improved my photography knowledge and skills a great deal, got some writing experience by getting published in the paper and in a book for a short story as well. Photography experience and knowledge from a wedding, a class, a friend (Shawn), camp, and winning the second contest! I developed closer relationships with some friends, mostly the same as last year. I've had more relationships (3) than ever in my life, each one enhancing my knowledge of myself in one way or another- which might mean that maybe I can just roll on my own now, discovering these things without intimacy. I've also developed closer relationships with my family (especially my brother, who, I've discovered, has a similar sense of humour)
I suppose this year has really just been a continuation of last year for me. I took everything I started last year at least one step further. Like journalism, for example. I did a co-op in 2009, and took part in the Community Editorial Board this year. In Tae Kwon Do, which I started last year, I got my black belt, and I started to become a lot closer with some of the people I made friends with in gr. 11, that I got even closer with last year and now, I feel I know many of them very well :) I also started photography in 2008 when I went to Europe, then in 2009 when I got the Lumix G1 Camera and even more so this year with my canon T1i SLR!
Things I've accomplished, hmm... well, doing well in school, for one. I maintained the 85 average I want and am taking it even higher this semester (hopefully, if I don't screw up now!) I also have a better idea of what I really like doing: teaching (from Tae Kwon Do and camp), writing/sharing experiences and photography: my favourite hobby! Which will help me pursue a career of which I will feel passionate about, really enjoy and feel fufilled!
One thing I miss, though, is being outside more, and I think living in a native community for three months and volunteering for 6 might just help that one! If that doesn't help, at least I'll feel better fufilled from volunteering!
Things I want to do less:
-Get distracted
-Bite my nails
-Go on Facebook only to creep
-Procrastination of projects
-complain
Things I want to do more:
-yoga
-read
-write: trying new things, creative things
-plan
-fitness/eat healthier
2. What are some new friends I've made?
Camp people, Shawn (who I met last year, New Year's Eve!) Anastasia and friends, people from McDonald's and I think that's it.
3. What are some new things I've discovered about myself?
Well, I know better what I want from someone in a relationship for one. Balance is probably the biggest thing. And what I want in life. I feel like everything is more clear and organized in my mind, and I've developed some things I feel passionate about.
I've also learned that one of my biggest fears is being stuck in a group of people where I don't feel I belong, I'm not pulling my weight, or I just don't fit in or click with anyone. I've found that I tend to make friends with people who are less selfish, because I tend to befriend the people that will listen to me. I will welcome any new face with open arms, so long as they are interested in what I have to say. Maybe it's a little selfish, but I do really appreciate admiration, which is why I like teaching so much. Because I can earn the respect of another and see their improvement in whatever the field. I feel more satisfied, they feel more satisfied and we can share something together. It's very profound to me.
I can also sometimes get very hormonal and can only control my temper if I'm around people and don't want them to see me the way I really feel. Even then I find it difficult. I think before, I just didn't recognize when I was hormonal- I just figured whatever was triggering me was the issue.
Often, I'd just rather not care about my healthy habits. It's so much more convenient, and I'm more down-to-earth because I'm on the same level as everyone around me. I guess I just need to immerse myself in the right atmosphere.
4. How do I feel I've developed or changed as a person this year?
I know what I want more than anything.
5. When did I feel most comfortable?
At camp, when I felt settled. The campers apprecitated my efforts and so did the camp. I nearly cried when they offered me a "raising the bar" because in the beginning, my confidence was so low, but apparently being a caring person makes the world of a difference.
But also, just before camp, when I was dating Justin and I was feeling really comfortable at home, finally. Getting along with my parents and laughing more with my brother, seeing my sister more. I honestly pictured myself with Justin a really long time too. And then it just faded I guess. Although, I've never felt more confident than when I was mature enough to realize that it wasn't going to work and ended it right then and there.
6. What/Who will I miss most?
Mom. coming home to dogs that rush to the door, begging me for my affection, home.
8. What am I choosing to let go of to make next year different?
Everything that feels farmiliar. Everything that makes me feel comfortable.
9. What inspiration is going to keep me motivated for 2011?
Adventure, peace and looking forward to every day being miles from my ordinary life
.
10. How do I think I'm going to change in the next year, or what do I need to change?
Improvements...
Hmm. Well, I think I'll be more mature in that I will be more self-sufficient. I'll make new friends that I will likely depend on to make me feel happy or sad, but it's going to be hard at first. I'm going to be in a foreign place, with foreign people, surrounded by foreign culture, language and everything imaginable. But with everything being so foreign, I'm going to learn to adapt really quickly, and let go of my fear of not fitting in or feeling a part of something.
Hopefully, I'll learn to be more responsible. I'll be looking after myself and I'll learn more of the home-ey duties as I started to this year.
And I'm sure I'll discover new interests while I'm away.
Who knows-maybe I'll develop a new love for collecting pet rocks!
So all together, I suppose I could call this year the year the seeds began to grow. Last year, I started some things, planted seeds and now I'm growing up, with the help of a great family support system and nutrient-rich soil and perhaps the year I decide to bloom will come soon enough!
Ooo. Maybe I should think about a seed as my next tattoo...sounds ugly right now, but it probably won't be another year until that idea develops into something more!
As for 2011, I thought about making a specific resolution, but, since I'm an ambitious person, I know that there's always room for improvement, so I'll just leave it at that. Nothing too specific, just improvements everywhere I'm lacking.
So cheers to 2011!
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