Inspiration

So this week, I haven't done a whole lot other than talking to my awesome room mate, sleep and make delicious food I guess. 

Every time I planned to go somewhere, it failed.  Pipe ceremony Thursday- didn't make it.  Sweat Friday- Well, I was on my way to babysit.  But Saturday, I had the incredible opportunity to be part of a shake tent.

It's not something anyone could joke about. It's not something anyone could even think to not take seriously.  "This shit's real," I wrote in my journal. And I think I experienced something that really explained a lot about me.  I wanted to know what my spirit name was, since I thought that maybe that might help me to know why it is I've found myself having really weird dreams, and crying about things that aren't even my emotions.  A lady told me about her brother who committed suicide many years ago and she wanted to ask at the shake tent if he had found his peace.  When she asked the question, without even hearing the answer, I cried as much as she did to the response.  I've always known I've been an empathetic person, but, never did I think that I could this deeply with someone as I did there.  I was shaking.  I couldn't believe the hurt I could feel. I've been feeling this a lot since I got here this time, but I figured I was just hormonal.  But no, I'm just really sensitive to the trauma all around me, whether I know it or not. 

And my spirit name?  Northern Lights woman.

It made me think of that night I first saw the Northern lights- I cried.  I couldn't believe what I was seeing. Another night I saw them was when I first met my friend Maryy.  "Northern liiiiiiights!" I kept saying. She thought it was so hilarious, she put it in her Facebook status that night.  "Maybe you have a special connection to the north," my room mate said  And natural beauty that puts people in awe.

I learned a lot about myself this weekend from that shake-tent, and again when I found my magic spot by the river.  A perfect area with a natural rock chair, covered with moss and a view of the river, cranberries and forest.  It's not too far from the trail, but private enough to hear nothing around. 

I thought about asking what brought me here, what's my purpose, why am I here?  But I think I got my answer without even asking that.  I asked the oracle if that would be an appropriate question to ask and he said "what, you want to know if you're in the right place?"  I said "no, I never doubted that I was meant to come back, but I'm just not sure what it is I should be doing." 
"Well that's an answer in itself," he said.  I was a little confused, but decided not to ask it anyway.
 Now, much later, I have the answer to that question in my spirit name.  I am here to inspire, exactly as the beauty of the north has done and continues to do for me.

By the way, I took some pictures today and I'll have to post them this week!  Some of them are pretty spectacular!
Plants you'll never see in Ontario, and my favourite kind: plants from interesting perspectives :)



Genskoumiden by the way for reading!  I haven't been updating on Facebook by the way because I can't get on from the school!